Because of the efforts of your practice,
or maybe it is just because of grace touched you in the middle of your life, like it did with my friend in a bookstore,
and another one in a supermarket, and one more I know -
he was riding his motorcycle,
suddenly you find yourself in a state of recognition
of who you are. The mind that a moment ago was focused in this very human you though you were, now is limitless,
and you are not at all the little human:
the form, the body, and it's brain.
Who Am I? If this question appears in the space of limitlessness,
this is a gift of the human effort trying to know this very mystery
by repeating this question day after day
with no satisfying answer for years.
The question appears by itself, there is no one thinking it,
no one asking, no one carrying it forth, it is just there
as a self-perpetuated vibration: "Who Am I?" -
a divine curiosity.
I AM. No name, no form, no thing. It's all I AM,
Awareness. The search that took decade or even two, or three,
it sized, you are found, my friend.
Beware here. Please be careful, it's not the end.
And you will understand this later, when the expansion
folds itself, and focus back into the human mind.
Be very vigilant and see how the mind turns on the old program,
I AM might quickly to become "I am", "I had", "I saw", "I felt",
"I experienced", "I was", "I know". In some it might become "I am Awareness", easy! Just keep inquiring who is talking, who's saying that, who is affirming?
When the experience does fades, it does not mean it disappeared,
got lost or never happened. It"s like a tornado that goes through the field and turns around objects, the experience of pure awareness will re-arrange the brain. To what extent, we do not know,
but you won't be the same.
It took a minute, two, or longer, this was enough to disrupt
the old mechanisms. You might not notice at first.
And many don't, they are trying to continue where they have left;
the same life story.
Same character, same job, same people,
same town, house and a cat, but why it feels so different now?
Why things that were important, not important anymore,
why it is hard to find motivation to keep the job, be nice,
and play the roles: "good husband", "perfect co-worker",
"sweet lady", "always helpful", "responsible", "a seeker"...
Here is the real challenge comes, my friends.
This challenge is in living life when all the old structures are
not fitting. Remember when you were 12 or so, and came to school after the summer time 6 inches taller? Your old pants are higher then your ankles, and you can't button up the shirt?! You can't shrink back yourself, you need a new wardrobe.
Same here. You can't shrink yourself into the mind that
makes believe that you are Peter. Or Bill, or Kathy, Susan, or "Sweet Pie", or "Pumpkin", "Sugar Plum", "good old boy", etcetera.
These are the times to navigate the old life with new perception.
It is not easy! Boy, it took me years to sort out old closet,
along with all the characters in it.
The more true life you had before expansion, lucky!
True partner, true work, true place, the "truer-er" you were
to who you are, the easier return. True relaxation.
The more you hid your face from all the true, the bumpier the ride.
Just give yourself much time, be open, be innocent, be patient.
With time the closet will be sorted, and maybe even not one time.
Be kind to yourself, and also to others.
Sometimes we have to part, but we can keep the love.
The seeking, yes, forgot about that, sometimes it stops.
But keep the inquiry - keep questioning the mind,
when he assumes a master role, a doer, an owner,
an enlightened one, awake. Keep asking, keep turning the attention to what's aware. Keep going, my friend <3