Saturday, December 15, 2018

Organic maturation in awakening


I am noticing how at peace I am with myself, even in the middle of some stormy circumstances, I am calm. This is not the calm out of detachment "there is no me", "me is an illusion", this is calm of the beingness, it feels like my heart is at peace, my body is relaxed, my mind is calm. I have been patiently waiting for it, I knew there is no way to make it happen, other then live and let it all settle by itself. The big changes in me in the last several years really visible to the naked eye: I am not in the conforming character anymore, I live and walk my talk.

I do not need to protect any image of being somebody, or being beyond being somebody, or an image of transcendent somebody. I am grateful to life to see this fairy early in my years (relatively) after waking up, that negate the human, the character/the roles we play, adopt the concept as world as an illusion, while energetically still participating in it until the death of the physical form, will only be fooling myself. It will be giving green light to the clever and adaptive mind to create another illusion of no me, but basically just another identity. I do not see that living in this very character needs to be changed on living in "no character", for me for sure it doesn't make sense. I know it, because I did live it for first couple of years, and I somehow I knew that this was not the truth.

This world is an illusion, yes, the form, the name does not exist, its a fractal, a holographic image in the space of consciousness, the closest metaphor I can find at the moment. I had a direct and profound experience of it, this is why I am where I am now in my being. I had been re-worked from "head to toes" :) And also though continues inquiry through the years I discovered that my mind naturally inclined to Revelation beyond the physical world. My mind also is inclined to sensing the physicality continually, so it mostly always present to what is happening. Between these two my life turns, as one wise man said :) Different mind states arise in the field of pure consciousness, and life is happening organically, as it is always is. I am conscious.

But I found that suppression of what's already here and available, and creation of something illusionary in the mind as "no-self", "no character" takes a lot of life force to maintain it. If one lives in the immediacy of being, and feel complete every night when they go to bed, then they fully lived and utilized this very character of theirs to it's full capacity, and there is no need to even doubt it, no need to invalidate it, deny it, or suppress, no need to go beyond it, or transcend it. Do you see how it works? It works naturally.

You do not need to do really anything, but continue to live what's here. You do not need to pretend you are not this person, you just fine to be this person, or this character. The issue arise only when we want to build something else then what it is: build awake image, enlightened persona, something that falls into our idea of us as awake, authority, teacher. Other then that, who the heck cares you think about yourself as a character or "no-character" in daily life? I love to be in a company of awake friends, those who do not deny their humanness, so we just have a good time, without affirming to each other that we are not really selves here.

Though I sort of left non-duality community, I have written a lot for this community, because I saw many were stuck in a temporary nihilistic zone for too long. Denial and nihilism happens to most, the integration into life as a human for some is really tough endeavor. I will continue to write on the maturation in awakening beyond temporary stations. Since I am denied access to LiberationUnleashed Page, you can find my writings on my blog Complete Humanity.



Wednesday, December 12, 2018

What are you here to bring to this world and to learn in this lifetime?

One thing that I learnt living life is that we never know what is actually right for another. I know I am living this last portion of my life to learn courage and by my own example to help others in the same. If you suggest me to sit back, walk away quietly, do some inner inquiry instead of standing up, you do not understand that this is what I have done all my life. Since early years when this mechanism was developed in a young child to protect her life, I always wend deep into myself. Later in life I would go deep with inquiry.


I can't afford this anymore, this method will take my life, I have been there before. I have to stand up. It's not natural for me to stand up, its not easy, it is very uncomfortable, and my body doesn't like it, but it does like it more then not to speak up. It appreciates there is movement of energy out instead of all directed in. Said that, my main work is done, I found what I was seeking all my life, I do not need to pretend to be more spiritual, or more light, or more awake. I know who I am and what limitations I am against in this body and mind, and I am fine to work within certain parameters of these limitations.


Find out what your main theme of this lifetime, what you were born to bring to the world, what to learn, how to move correctly for yourself. This will be such a relief for you that you can be yourself without judgment. That you don't have to follow any homogenized expectations how you should be, live, and behave. If you here to plant kindness, do it, but do not expect that planting kindness is my job here, though I am generally carry kindness in my being, I am planting courage this lifetime, and surely this will sometimes look maybe too abrasive, but for me, just right.


How do I know? You ever tried something that everyone says is good, only arrived to the lifeless space, ready to die, because the organism have no energy to continue life? I did. I tried to be desire-less, emotionless, impartial witness, and I actually tried all kinds of states that did not really work, because the next step would be a grave. We do not need to be anything other then us feeling complete at the moment, if sitting back is complete for you, you are at peace and harmony, then it is healthy, but if sitting back means listening to fears, brush them off and stand up. If anyone tell you to better sit, you explain them that standing up is more healthy for you. They might understand or not, please walk your own path to completeness. It is not the same for everybody.

The spirit animates these bodies to do different work in the world, find and respect your own work. We are one Consciousness that come forth in all these forms. Sometimes they collide, it does only mean that it's all alive, and we only can aim to do the correct work.


If you moved to help me:
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Monday, December 10, 2018

What's awakening by the way?


A friend:  What's awakening by the way?



a·wak·en·ing

/əˈwāk(ə)niNG/
noun
  1. 1.
    FORMAL
    an act of waking from sleep.
  2. 2.
    an act or moment of becoming suddenly aware of something.
I will try to explain, I did it many times, but every time I find a little different facet, so I am happy to do it again and again! Awakening word is used with different meaning, just like "god" and "love" words, it means different things for different people. In dictionary its defined as "waking up from the sleep", and this would be true what I am talking about all along. It is a profound change in perception of reality. Just like in a sleep at night you might be the character in a sleep, and many characters, but then you wake up and perception of who you are changed in the morning, and all the roles you played in a dream seen as illusionary. So the same in this walking state you see yourself as a separate being, a character, carry different roles, but who you are is not really this character. When you wake up it is clearly seen who you really are, without any doubt (but instead of waking up from the night dream, it is a Revelation in the middle of the walking state, in the middle of this life). You can't really explain to the character in the night dream who the real dreamer is, so is in this life human mind can't understand beyond itself, it is only possible to experience yourself when the dream ends. It does happen when the physical body dies, but also it does happen in the Revelation (Waking Up experience), which many sages called "Die before you die". BEING AWAKE is to live this knowing which awakening experience revealed. Mostly in life it experienced as being present moment to moment to the experience without judgment. This has nothing to do with effort to be present, it's embodied Presence itself. It also might be experienced as mindfulness moment to moment, same here, without effort to be mindful, it's clear knowing of each moment as a projection of the Mind itself. These different ways of living awake depends on the natural inclination/design of the mind/body organism, more physical/somatic based, or more mind/knowing based. I know its a lot to contemplate, mind loves to engage in contemplation, and this is very potent food for it. Contemplation and inquiry are two vehicles that help to settle the mind on finding the truth of who we are, so is meditation, focusing, silencing the mind, growing awareness while reducing unconscious thinking. Please read my other essays on this blog regarding awakening.
We are not getting older (some personal experiences, some different faucets of talking about awakening and who we are): https://completehumanity.blogspot.com/2017/08/we-are-not-getting-older.html


In Humane and Transcendent simultaneously: