Sunday, June 9, 2019

Some adventures in consciousness

One day I read on one of the websites:
"There’s a type of great coach… A mysterious type who often go overlooked, because what they do doesn’t look like coaching. It looks more like magic. Because these people have the ability to alter someone’s destiny in the time it takes to eat lunch. They aren’t about the how or the why — they’re completely, utterly about the who. Their core skill is to see someone in a way that they don’t yet see themselves; to give their lives a larger narrative, sense of belief, a higher purpose.”

It resonated with me so much! So I decided to get coaching from someone who is more then a regular coach, who understands different levels of being, who can see the gaps, the hang-ups and lead to release it, who finds in you and turns a key, and the human fractal get's changed completely. This is what I have been doing with my own clients, and I was looking who will do the magic with me. I intellectually knew what the gap was, but I was removed from it, it was almost like a thick protection over it. I didn't need great coach, I needed extraordinary: someone expanded in their being-ness in capacity to SEE, integrated in life so flawlessly at the same time. Who did not skip any stations of development in any areas of human life. I was willing to stand in fear, humiliation, confusion, anything.

I met one on-line, let me tell you, he had a key. He made such a big impact on me I released some old pattern that I wasn't able to let go by myself, though I was so aware of it. He literary yelled at me on the phone in a very harsh voice, and that was a super key that opened a floodgates of a lifetime! I went into disassociation, I withdraw from my body, I didn't have access to my voice neither. He kept going, and at one point I came back, suddenly I could push it out of me: "Shut up, Steve!" And from my throat came out everything at once: sounds, cry, coughs, all gamut of stuff, as I just had an ayahuaska brew! What I experienced after is a long story that I will write in my second book about awakening integration, in short, I remembered where this disassociation with the body came from in my early childhood, what preceded it and how it developed and how it ruled all my life. How I was avoiding any conflicts because I was terrified of pain - the earliest memory my mind held was pain and protection from it by disassociation. It was happening automatically, and awakening only brought this into the forefront of the awareness, and one day it destined to be seen fully and released completely.

It was freaking painful, and how I was trying to process is to write, write honestly what is going on in my mind, and my mind was on fire in the next couple of days. It was trying to come back to equilibrium. The one who just made an impact disappeared, he just didn't want to deal with it, or maybe he just didn't have time to stay with me, I do not blame him, I actually love him for who he is and I know how similar we are by delivering impact, and yes, sometimes it goes seemingly sideways. I would prefer him staying with me, sure, but I respect his decision and his own boundaries.

I was picked up by a fairy, she sat down with me and she listened. She really loved me, I could trust her she loved me. I needed that love, I regressed into 5 y.o who was yelled by her mom and her sister while the little one was in so much pain. I was in somatic pain that engulfed me, and I was not able to disassociate anymore from it. I needed someone who would be able to hold the space for me to talk about it ( energy moved in me through sound, through talking and writing ), and she had the full capacity for it. She understood what happened, she gave me all the time in the world, she validated me, confirmed that I am not crazy, at times like that, even if you know it yourself, it is absolutely healing when someone mirrors you your precious authentic being. She named it as "disassociation", and it suddenly got absolutely clear to me this very story of suppressive and conforming behavior, everything became transparent. I was going to this moment of absolute clarity and freedom from childhood trauma for many years, basically 7, even 9 years. I wasn't actively "working" on it, I was just becoming more and more aware of the dissonance in the mind: the pain, the resistance, it was my Dark of the Soul passage that I am sure was only possible because the mind awoke to Non-dual Awareness, and the contrast in the personality contrived by trauma just felt excruciating, especially in the last years.

In Non-duality 9, 7, even 3-5 years ago personality conflicts were taboo to talk about, some non-duality teachers killed themselves because they could not reconcile the expansion of the mind and the pain that did not become less, but more apparent. Unfortunately they did not have proper help, the status of the teacher prevented them to look deeper into pain and not try to avoid it by trying to reside in nondual awareness. Mind is so clever mechanism, it will construct even nondual awareness dreamstate, it would simulate it, as outrages as it sounds, it would give a break and let you just be, but as soon as a trigger for trauma comes in, it would go into override state immediately, and nothing you could do about it, nothing. I am actually happy that the views on trauma is changing rapidly now in nonduality community, and I feel by being transparent in my process for all these years there is some of my contribution in that as well. By healing myself I heal. This is why I am here in this lifetime, and this is why I write about myself. I am a writer, a storyteller, a healer and a teacher, I tried not to take on any labels on myself, but I came to this simple fact about my role in this life, and I accepted. And a fairy? It was Shanti Zimmerman, and you can find her on Facebook. She is my friend, she went through Liberation Unleashed, the organization I co-created, she studied with Byron Kathy and Tony Robbins. And all that helped her to become the coach she is, I am sure, but I also want to say, she is a born healer herself being able to overcome her own childhood trauma, being able not to pass it onto her 4 children, to be able to clear the ancestral line from the grip of this trauma. So she does have capacity, and you might benefit from her work.
to be continued...

Thursday, June 6, 2019

You finally can REST

When I pointed people to awakening to "no self" and later to pure awareness, I had many more inquiries then now when I point people back to individuality and uniqueness. Though I do believe, at least from my own experience, and watching fully integrated awake mentors from different traditions, that this is the natural movement of evolution: from identified personal to absolutist impersonal to unique expression of impersonal (simplified).

The reason why many awake minds stuck in the absolutist impersonal stage and not really living fully as they would is because there is a stigma about "personal", "individual", its like a bad spell to use it toward themselves. I so understand that! Having been a seeker on a path of enlightenment for so many years and applied so much effort, hard-core effort, now I would be afraid to "regress" to establish my own individuality. Also I don't want to sort through that human "stuff" that I can just deny right now, and come across as something more pure, higher, or more advanced then just this small messy human!

Mind is so clever, as said one of my friends in personal message to me, yes indeed, its so clever I am speechless to have noticed how it fooled myself and others along the way! No wonder every tradition warns for some dangers on an authentic spiritual path, it is a lot of "dangers", I would say a lot of places we can get stuck, and stuck so hard that we do not know we are stuck, and we are not willing to hear from anyone about it.

What I like about my work with people is that I do not need to point to them where they are stuck, I just listen to their stories, for long time, from different times, different angles, I ask different unrelated questions and confuse their clever mind to the point it just give up to sensor what and how they say. And I write down their words. I have no judgment for anything they say, I am witnessing it right there with them, in a context of the fascinating journey in consciousness, and I see and feel what is that in that story was essential, what was the thread through the whole life that kept playing out itself, regardless of the circumstances, and most fascinating: under all the acquired, and sometimes very thick, conditioning! This is what make it unique to them, makes them individual without grasping to the form!

When awake meet with his or her uniqueness, their individuality, it's a joyful recognition, and also a big relief, almost a permission to be. Yes, there are difficult cases, only a few I met with, when the recognition was immediate, but the living circumstances prevents to be it at this time, the individuality is so suppressed and deeply conditioned to express itself in an overt way. Then for these people I highly recommend to continue de-conditioning support with me, or anyone else for that matter who is skilled in it.

I am qualified by my own journey to be of support, many of you know that I have been suppressed in a personality and coming out of that suppression was my Dark Night of the Soul journey after awakening, and it took no less then full 7 years, but I did not have any support, only the opposite. This is why I am doing this, I am called to help those in distress after awakening of the mind. And the road is only through: from the complete denial of personality to acceptance of individuality, loving yourself and your own humanness so deeply that you finally can REST.

Tuesday, June 4, 2019

Perspectives and mystery of Being

Still believe your believes? Can you just for a second accept that it is only a perspective, doesn't matter how amazingly wise, deep, expansive, seems like absolute truth they are. I have been shifting in perspectives for years, have been accused of not having a solid teaching, because I change my message all the time, while this is my solid teaching and a message: as soon as you think you got it, it's a next delusion, more sophisticated, more disguised, more and more difficult to recognize, so relax where you are and start living life right now, without avoidance and spiritual by-pass! No amount of thinking and language can describe the mystery of Being. It can be only experienced without any description. And experienced right now, just where you are, as you are, if you only surrender the seeking 💓

And If the description is there: "Aha! I know!" - oops, here is a perspective, but not the truth which you are trying to present as such. Truth on a relative level, yes, but not an absolute truth, we can't even know if such a thing exist! It would be too simple for this grand play. Either you are in personal development stage when you believe you are improving yourself, or awake stage when you do not identify yourself with a person but identification shifted to pure Awareness, the perspective of who we are changes, yes, but it is not an absolute truth! So do not quarrel with others, especially when you identify with Awareness, it sounds funny when you quarrel who is more awake. If you only can see that it is a perspective, then you will accept that others have different perspectives, and for them they are valid, just like for you yours.

I keep laughing at myself all the time, geez, Elena, what you were writing! And at the same time we go through this journey in our own pace and own time, and being delusional on this path is a part of the journey, until you get clear that there is no absolute truth. Then you shut up, take of the meditation shawl, step off the pedestal, leave spiritual discussion groups, or whatever you need to do - you perfectly know what exactly - you roll the sleeves and get to work, whatever is there for you to do - this also gets very clear when all the beliefs and expectations for yourself give a way to natural human interest and inclinations 💓

This is why I do this Discovery Process with people: for them to clearly see what is important, and shift their attention there, its like shifting yourself home. Should be easy, right? But we stuck in places where we do not really belong, and feel lost, unhappy and "not good enough", constantly comparing to others, trying to catch up. How we got there in a first place? We were trying to compensate something that was unclear in our personality, were trying to run away from pain, and got into spirituality, and then we followed various teachers, teachings and expectations, and we got so deep into neurotic seeker state that pretends to be awaken to absolute truth that we lost what is actually real here. Let's recover the innocence, the joy of being, the happiness of giving yourself to the world in your own innate virtue. Let's start to live fully your uniqueness, to love yourself with fascination and to play in ourselves with wonder! 💓
It is not possible to explain what Discovery Process is, but we go deep into your life story, you talk, I listen, I ask, you talk, I listen, I ask and listen again. Then we take a look on the life trajectory and see what is really important, and what you are here to be and do in this life. This process creates unprecedented clarity and automatic relaxation to be just exactly who you are, you bring all of you back home to rest and enjoy life.
To read more about Discovery Process, read some of the testimonials on my website:,
look up service page, about page, my resume...investigate and see if you resonate with me to work together.

With Love,

June 4 add:

Was another 4 hours Discovery session today, it's the second one that run twice long, but I am in commitment to stay with the process until the alchemy completes itself. I am here to assist in creating clarity of Being, bringing energies to their proper places, and sometimes it just does't line up that easy, but if I stay with it, suddenly the Mandala of Being (wow, this is it!) opens up in front of my eyes, and then me and a client have no doubt that it is true for them, because it brings them home to themselves right there.
You should see those eyes and hear the gasp from recognition of themselves, and a huge relief they feel, and excitement to have a chance to start again with themselves, live fully, lovingly, present to who they are. It's like life has vibrancy and colors again, and its all fun again, rightful direction! And surely there is also challenge not to slip into conditioned ideas of themselves, but now they have clear view of their virtues that they came to live and express, but never had full permission for.
It is not intellectual process at all, if it would be then we would go with what mind says, and in 99% it says some concept, ideas that has nothing to do with essence, even if all the life structures based on these ideas by now, we can not to proceed, and we have to dig in every kind of way to confuse the mind to the point it gives up, and then the essence comes forward, and it is not possible not to see it!! Pure alchemy.
Then they go live it and it starts to mold them from a caterpillar to a butterfly, sometimes very easy, sometimes instantaneously, and sometimes painful metamorphosis, but now life took over, the work of nature is like digestive process: if the food got in, it will go through the digestive tract, we want it or not, and will nourish the body and transform it. Its the same process of recognition of our uniqueness and why we are here, what we are here to bring, how we are here to nourish and transform the world. Suddenly there are energies available to assist to be who they are, suddenly no depression, and no boredom, no sadness and hopelessness, suddenly no tensions, and they feel amazingly free and in joy to be who they are, unapologetically 

Thursday, May 30, 2019

Addiction to low mind states

We are addicted to specific mind states,
I am not exaggerating, 

its an addiction to a sensation, feeling
The thought forms that evoke these mind states
are so readily available, as they are right there,
every moment, every morning we wake up,
mind already tuned in to a specific frequency,
and just like a radio, broadcast the thought forms
all day long, sending the body into specific feeling.

If we are really mindful, we will notice the correspondence
of the thoughts to the feelings and sensations,
and if we are deeply honest, we will ask ourselves:
"What benefit I derive from this particular mind state 

of anxiety, sadness, anger, boredom...?" 
"Why I am addicted to this particular substance, 

what is there that keeps me hooked?"

I will give here a simple example, that many can easily understand.
It is 7am in the morning, and cold outside, in fact, its rainy too.
You are 6, and need to wake up to go to school.
You are so cozy under the blanket, dozing.
"Wake up!" you hear your mom's voice. And you slide
even deeper under the blanket, into the darkness and warmth.
"Wake up! We will be late for school!"
You feel even less motivated, you don't really like school.
"Mom, I am not feeling well"
After some examination mom either believes you or not,
but to convince her you really make yourself not feel well,
you even convince yourself in it: you feel achy, sad and weak.
But you allowed to stay under the blanket!!

40 years later you are still under the blanket, 

literary, or figuratively.  
The low and sad mind states now like an armor that is so familiar!
It keeps you "safe" from demands and expectations of the world.
Does it still work for you? Be honest.
I asked my partner what made him let go drug addiction,
while others went further, and many of them dead by this time.
"The state I was chasing wasn't working anymore,
so I was done with it".

Be honest and examine if it still works for you to be sad, 

depressed, bored, angry - any of it,
examine if it still keep you protected in a way you needed 

long time ago. Inquire if you need this protection now, 
or you are ready to change.
Why you need sadness and anxiety, why you need depression,
what is behind it? Keep going deeper with your inquiry.
Be your own guide and counselor,
let simple open curiosity and innocence 
guide itself into clarity and freedom from addiction.

Saturday, May 4, 2019

Journeying into discovery

I worked with someone today who's childhood was very complicated, as in case of many of us, I would even say, majority of us. We did not have parents who were awake and aware, and we unconsciously compensated for their own pain in a variety of ways.
I have a specific mind, it has an ability to replicate the mind states of another human being and embody the feelings as so I am them. This is why I was completely lost for the large part of my life in the mind states of other people, groups, and the hypnosis of human condition. Nothing about anyone, it was just my own life trajectory I had to live here, the unique path of being very transparent to take on the mind states of the environment.
Journeying with my client into discovery of what she is here to offer to the world, I found myself in her life story, and then seeing clearly how the complications and the burdens of her childhood and specific intention of life here made her lead uncomplicated and unburdened life, and how it is so correct for her.
We are so fixed on fixing, and we assume that we need to fix something in order to be complete, but it is so individual in every one of us. For some of us the part of the story is to uncover the childhood complications, and it was absolutely true in my own case. Why I know this is true? Because this is how it is. I don't argue with life how it is.
So I do not argue with how it is for others as well, I do not have a specific idea, I enter in all possibilities. I go in, I take it in fully, I notice everything, and suddenly I know what they are here for. And as someone else's difficult childhood would lead to even more difficult adulthood for their own unique specific life work here, my today's client work here is to show and teach the simplicity of choices to lead uncomplicated and unburdened life. She does have perfect set of qualities that allow people feel warm and safe in her presence, so she can deliver her message in the way they won't reject, they suddenly feel the state of ease with her, and then they laugh together on the illusionary complications of life.

When we discussed this at the end I felt she was amazed how simple and noble her mission in life is, and this is what happens when we live what we are: the lifework is naturally expressed through living, through our being, and recognizing it is a simple celebration of a human spirit which is alined with it's intention fully 

Tuesday, April 30, 2019

On childhood trauma

With the childhood trauma became apparent to me three years ago, I came a long way from starting releasing it unconsciously to the absolute clarity of what actually happened, how this main fixation of the personality was created. My mind suddenly got access to the files where the trauma was created when I was 5. Going further, with a few circumstances when the trauma was re-activated and pain-body somatic experience was fully released in the body, as a witness, I gained clarity on the mechanisms of it, thanks all who participated, knowingly and unknowingly: anyone who yelled at me when I would disassociate spontaneously and couldn't even talk, tried to humiliate me when I was honestly transparent, lied about me to save your public face, dismissed me when I needed help, laughed at me when I grasped for air. You were either innocently ignorant or a jerk, it doesn't really matter, because what matters is that I am really getting free from bondage of the trauma, this is a BIG DEAL, thanks for helping along! I am pretty serious about it. It is actually not that easy to release main personality fixation, just like not that easy to wake up. Takes lifetimes to have a certain mind capacity for the possibility to wake up, takes a lifetime to release the trauma so it stops replicate itself in the specific life story: circumstances, people, certain dynamics. Not guaranteed at all! I guess I was ready for the Grace. Deeply grateful to life to still be present here so I can experience this and help others 

Sunday, April 28, 2019

I feel deeply

I have been processing this for couple of days, and my most pain now is that I see how so many suppressed in their own innate wisdom, trying to catch up with some projected ideal. They get dismissed by the conformed world around the power figures who project forward the face they want to see by, while hiding deep down their own unprocessed thick stuff. I see it all across the board, in every area, spiritual and mundane. Honestly, I do not know what to do about it other then work on my own clarity and groundness in my own being, trust my own judgment, know my work in the world and helping others in the same. I decided to work with one person at a time to help them to re-remember who they are, to be a witness in their own nature and a character they carry in this lifetime, so they can leave the heard and start to live.

I see firsthand how screwed up human perception of "authority in the filed" (any field) is, starting from most parents (me included with my own son), school teachers, then spiritual gurus, high profile figures in self-help world, how hypnotizing it is, how disempowering, how homogenizing it is! I specifically was given the life circumstances to experience it firsthand, in fact, I had one very recently. I came to live absolute transparency, because someone has to be open to show others that these things are real and valid. If you think I am a superman, this is not the case, I feel deeply, I feel so deeply for human condition, for suffering we went through out of ignorance, I do not have time for dismissing it. This is my contribution to the world and every one who ever came across what I write, how I write, and how I work, people know I am very human.

I will not site with what majority think, what majority believe in about you, even with what you believe about yourself, I am not here to add more to hypnosis. I will challenge your mind, and will un-cover the REAL, the forgotten, the natural, the life-giving, what is prior to when you folded, when you contracted, when you assumed the role you lived. We will go in you PRIOR to when you allowed to be directed by those around you who portrayed they knew better for you what and how you should be.

Saturday, April 20, 2019

Today's song

So what is the value of saying it again
and again,
and again?
It is not a choice really, to say or not to say.
It is openness to what is here to be expressed.
For some, it is every day loving kindness,
for some it is every day cooking nourishing meal,
for some it is hugs that envelop and relax,
and for some, it is speaking of what is needed to be spoken out.
It can vary day to day, it might be repeating the same message
with slight variations, nuances and flavors,
connecting one day with one being, and the next -
with the other.
We all hear and resonate with different words, different rhythms and different frequencies.
You may say: "It is so boring! How you can do it?!"
This is what I always thought about performers,
how they manage to sing the same song for a lifetime?!
I am singing this Song of Awakening for many years,
and I know this song will continue!
It all depends on the audience,
who is there to sing for today.
I always sing for those in the front row, you choose where you want to sit today!

Saturday, April 13, 2019

True Freedom

Today I got clear that I do have a specific mission at this time of my life. I am on a mission to bring clarity to the notion of spiritual awakening, and I am on a mission to help people to stop running for the carrot of abstract enlightenment.

It was my Chiron Return today. I officially pass the line on the life trajectory of healing the childhood wounds where I am no longer living the story of the wound. Its not always happens of cause, but my unceasing search for freedom actually paid off. I did dive deeply into the wound that held me in limitation of living the life in freedom, in spite of the awake mind. I had many different experiences in this lifetime, lived many lives, but the one that opened the mind to who am I and dropped any need for any more spiritual seeking and the one that opened the main wound and liberated me from fear of humiliation were the main events to freedom in this lifetime. Everyone has their own grain of sand in their shoe, its unique to each of us, in my case it was humiliation that I experienced in the early childhood that I unconsciously was avoiding by conforming in so many ways through the lifetime. There is no one method to freedom, if you meant to be cracked open in this lifetime, you probably feel great longing for freedom, and you will be opened in your own unique way. Stop comparing yourself to others, mind your own liberation, only you will know when there is no sand in your shoes. Spiritual search is one of the most biggest avoidance to look what hurts while you are walking. Instead we pretend its all fine and politely smile by wearing a mask of a "very spiritual person" or "awake and aware", unconsciously holding tension in the organism and perpetuating unrest. So today I celebrate my own freedom. I did my work. I help others in the same, this is my lifework, and I am happy to still be alive and be of service.

Monday, April 8, 2019

“I hide nothing”


“I hide nothing”

Yes it is strong.
Yes it is unsettling for many.
But I earned to say this with my life.
Sorry it touches you strongly
And calls you to look at where you hide.
I can hold you in un-hiding,
If you are ready.
But please do not ask me to hide
Because in my hiding I went so far as
Almost leaving life. Some of us are too big to hide,
We will be asked to come out, or we die.
Understand that anyone who went that far
And got the courage to come out of hiding
Will not bend anymore. They are here to be seen
For we are all supported by their courage
To come out and leave fearlessly.

Summer Deep Transformation Group for Awake, but not fulfilled

From spiritual dropout, hard-core spiritual seeker, creator of awakening inquiry, awakening movement, spiritual mentor, I transitioned to the field of practical spirituality or spiritual practicality, not sure yet how to name it, but my work with people is personally tailored transformational and life-changing coaching. I am directing all my attention this year, and l did last year as well, on learning, sharing and living my life from awakeness, deep awareness, authenticity, courage, and inspiration. If you want to join me for 3 months of exploration of your own humanity, I am planning to make a small group of explorers (8 people) for the Summer time (June-July-August). 

We will meet on Zoom every other week, and I also will have individual meetings with everyone to explore your life intention here, values, and how to live not from conditioned responses, or avoidance, not from fear and limitation, but from your own limitless heart, from sacred, divine and simple place of authentic you as a human being. We will create a small community, perhaps life-long friendships. Would it be nice to have friends all over the world you can learn with, play, talk, laugh and enjoy a communion with?! I am planning to do this quarterly, or maybe in a future - longer group, there will be an opportunity to connect to others who are also awake, aware, authentic and courageous, who live life open heartedly and fearlessly.

This group is for anyone awake who want to integrate in life better, who want to play in life, not hide, who want to utilize their gifts, not pretend they are not interested in life, who want to feel fulfilled and satisfied, not bitter and frustrated, who want to connect, share and belong to a small community where everyone is seen, respected, supported and valued for who you are 
This inspired me to make a Summer group to explore humanities, life intention, purpose to be alive, values and ways we can live to feel fulfilled:

The Summer Day - Mary Oliver

Who made the world?
Who made the swan, and the black bear?
Who made the grasshopper?
This grasshopper, I mean-
the one who has flung herself out of the grass,
the one who is eating sugar out of my hand,
who is moving her jaws back and forth instead of up and down-
who is gazing around with her enormous and complicated eyes.
Now she lifts her pale forearms and thoroughly washes her face.
Now she snaps her wings open, and floats away.
I don't know exactly what a prayer is.
I do know how to pay attention, how to fall down
into the grass, how to kneel down in the grass,
how to be idle and blessed, how to stroll through the fields,
which is what I have been doing all day.
Tell me, what else should I have done?
Doesn't everything die at last, and too soon?
Tell me, what is it you plan to do
with your one wild and precious life?

I do not know yet all the details, but I trust they will line up in the next few weeks.  Please email me that you are interested and I will send you detailed information soon.

There is nothing static in me, except my dedication to authenticity in myself and helping others in the same: Be YOU. I lead by my own example of suffering turned into wisdom, suppression into clarity, conforming into courage. I hide nothing, I do not pretend I know it all, I do not hesitate to change direction as soon as I clear it does not work, I invent and create new things to play with and explore, I invite others to play with me. I do not protect any particular image, I attach to nothing, but I live with passion, because to play here fearlessly and free is more fun then being too serious and limited. Join if this resonates!

Monday, April 1, 2019

How to navigate this life

This would be awesome, right, if I could tell you?

Or if someone would tell me.  But it’s not gonna happen.
Wait, there are a lot of those who claim they know,
please understand, they at most found the way for themselves.

Sure we can share with each other,
and by resonance we connect, and trust, and listen.
But we also forget that we all have different configuration of the mind,
though we are one at the core, our minds process life differently.

This is why there are so many modalities and teachers,
because it is needed, like different species perform different functions.
Please don’t get stuck as a helpless child to one of them forever.
Grow up besides waking up. 

It does sound almost foreign, sure.  You spent half a life trying to wake up.
You thought this is an ultimate goal in life.  And it might be!
But life continues, you know, it doesn’t stop, or suddenly becomes all perfect.
Now with that expanded knowing you need to walk the same streets as before!

How to navigate the same life when you woke up out of the illusion of separation,
 out of the spell to be this body, thinking and emotions?
Start paying attention to what you are here for.
Stop rushing to do, and start seeing what exactly you are here to do.

You slow down this character you are in, you get to know them.
You start notice the fixations developed through the unconscious living,
the hand-ups, what we call “conditioning”, the learned behaviours,
habits, patterns, which were created mostly for protection in the illusion of separation.

Can you see that waking up is not really an event in time,
but a state of mind at the present moment, now.
I do not want to diminish any existential experiences,
they were absolutely necessary for the mind to release the veil of separateness. 

But please do not hold on to the memories, they will not help now,
who even cares that you now think you are awake? 
Human brain is a highly adaptive organ, it will immediately
creates new, upgraded image of “awaken me”. 

What’s important is to continue to be honest, continue an inquiry,
what I mean here, just questioning any ownership the mind assumes.
Does’t have to be robotic, just natural simple curiosity
about the mechanisms of identification and creation of identities.

At some point life becomes lucid.  Awake life is the same life,
just like a night dream is the same dream as a lucid dream.  Its a dream.
In lucid living you live life from the perspective of the character,
though you know you are not it.  It happens without effort.

This is very important to understand, if the effort is present,
it comes from the mind - it tries to highjack reality to make it it’s achievement.
Being here/now is the simplest thing, not even possible not to be,
but “trying” to be here/now is a mind’s simulation.

If you are lost and feel the pain of separation, then follow the pain.
Turn to the pain, face to face, ask it to reveal what’s wrapped in it.
Here you can use any modality available: from behavioural psychology 
to energy medicine, mind inquiry, body somatic inquiries - whatever resonates, 
you just see what is easier for your mind to engage in, by itself or guided.

Waking up is opening the perception to who you are
besides the body and the brain, and opening the eyes to what life is,
besides believing everything you’ve told. It is a rite of passage not for everyone, 
but the courageous and curious, who are driven to it 
more then they are driven to preserve safety.

Growing up is clearing the pains, not running away and chasing bliss, 
but saying yes to all you’ve got.  It is seeing that no one is responsible 
for the current mind state you are in. 
By waking up to who you are this will be clear why.

With these two lines of work, effortless and engaged at the same time,
You are in this life in a unique positioning, can you see that?
Reliance on anyone else to explain the way, to zap, to use the magic wand 
won’t bring the clarity, at most just bring a temporary relief, 
though I am not against that either.

Wake up, my friend, then grow up, perhaps vice versa - 
in all the different ways this can present itself.
There are no calculations, no analysis, no linear ways to it,
relax into what’s present and follow your life’s own unique trajectory.

I found this drawing by Annie Mueller both true and FUNNY! :)

Sunday, March 31, 2019

Awakening of the mind as an obstacle in living awake

This is what I met with by working with awake people: The awakening of the mind becomes an obstacle in living awake. The opening of the mind's perception of who one is solidifies into the concept that stalls the creativity, curiosity, natural responses of the mind that is free of the solid identity. I used to think that people only on Facebook behave like awake robots, but in their life they are different, but now I see that its not the case, they are actually in life feel very restricted. It's like an opposite of freedom! The outer life circumstances only a sign of a restriction, and it can manifest in different ways, for example feeling dull, not motivated, not interesting to live, not interested in others, having a restriction in the partnership, sexual restriction, financial, feeling unfulfilled, but all this is not sort of a concern, because this is all human desires and interests, and "I am beyond it", "I am life itself" or pure awareness...I think you got my point here...Awakening to the Spirit to take over implies no limitation how the Spirit will live itself through the vessel. If you woke up in a dream at night lucid you do not sit in your dream in detached no-body, you go and explore the dream world, fly and do things you won't do before, just because you can! You know you are dreaming, you know there is nothing to be afraid of, so you explore fully. Same in life, if you woke up, stop pretending to be awake, BE free, FEEL alive, LIVE the fullness of life! 

P.S. Surely I myself went through a fairly long period of living detached, removed and all that, this is why I spot that crap very quickly, and there is no way you will make me believe "all is fine", and this is why I am here with the energy of provocation and the ability to make an impact necessary for you to snap the hell out of it, sometimes it is verbal coaching, and sometimes it is situational. And sometimes it is a life lesson for both of us 🥳🔥🌈💥

Tuesday, March 26, 2019

How awakening help in a human life?

So how awakening help in a human life? It simply allows you to be you. Allows you to be free from expectations of deeply conditioned mind around self-image and from expectations of others. It allows you to be correct in your own movement of energies, speech and actions. I have to say here that your correctness can look like incorrectness to others, especially in the transition period from been conditioned deeply to
be free.
The transition is not an easy time, and in my view and experience takes at least 7 years of core de-conditioning, and then natural fine-tuning, so no rush. Be kind to yourself. Be kind to those around who goes through epic shedding of skins.
I am here to serve and help in that process of shedding. I hide nothing, withdraw nothing, and will ask the best you are able to give to yourself at this time 

Friday, March 22, 2019


To give back to the community I offer to anyone who donated to my fundraiser a free coaching session. If you are stuck in any area of life, we can look at it together. 

I will be focused 2 full days on serving my donors. Do not be shy, you can bring to the table with me anything, from very spiritual to very mundane, you know me by this time, I don't really make any distinction, or have any judgment, or preference what we will be talking about. My main agenda is you as an agenda 

The link bellow will bring you to the description how I work, and a calendar. If you scroll down you will see: "Free coaching for my donors", please choose the date you want to talk to me. I already did some work with those who donated, but I am opening myself even more now, regardless of the amount of the contribution 

March 26 or April 11. I put the times that can accommodate anyone from Australia, to Europe to USA...