Wednesday, June 27, 2018

After transcendent, human!




By this time in life 
she is tired from living all kinds of illusions.  
This is how getting old actually beneficial, 
because of the exhaustion.
It is giving permission for the mind 
to relax the conditioned belief.  At last!

If mind to decide itself about it, 
no way he would let go, 
but there is this tiredness, no energy to fuel that, 
no interest to continue to play that role 
that was imposed ages ago on this innocence she is.
Now she just relaxes into life as it is, 
and mind releases the grip.  

Suddenly she finds herself more free, 
even if just a tiny bit,  
maybe not to smile when she does't want to, 
maybe not to apologise,  
just have more space to be, 
unaltered.

This is not convenient sometimes for some, 
and they try to create different stories. 
Maybe she even helped the creation of those stories 
by trying to explain herself.  This is what mind used to do.  
Trying to explain to others herself, 
and why she is suddenly checking out.  
From limiting relation.  
From the environment that is not correct for her.  
From doing what is not beneficial for her.  
From trying to be as normal as she could.

She never wanted to hurt anyone, 
and by trying that so hard not to hurt, she hurt herself.
She is just done with that.  She released that notion 
that something has to be clear.  
She was always aiming for clarity, 
and she failed miserably. 

She doesn't give a damn about any stories, 
from her own mind or anyone's.
It has been exhausting to walk
through life, lifetimes, eternities, 
conformed to imposed expectations.

Just get a grip that she doesn't want to be there anymore, 
talk about it anymore, try to explain, discuss, 
try to make it more convenient for you. 
She just want to be left alone by anyone 
who do not resonate with her aim to authenticity, 
who do not come to her with an open heart 
and allow her to be as she is, bare.
She does not want to hear any judgments 
any suggestions for improvement,
or corrections.  

She just loves this Genius~to~Freak character
she got to ride in this lifetime!
If you can't see the value of transmutation 
that she undergo for the last eight years 
to benefit herself and the world
by who she is and by what she brings to the table,
just walk away, 
ok? 


At Home


I truly feel at home 
in an honest expression, 
the most authentic 
I am capable at this moment. 
I can be not honest 100%, 
only because I myself not clear, 
but at least I can promise to myself and others 
that I am as much honest 

as I am capable at the moment.


Saturday, June 23, 2018

On change.


As with any movement repeated for years,
it’s easier to keep the same steps going, automatically.  
What if we stop in the middle of the song, vulnerable, 
trembling with fear to make a mistake, but willing?  
Willing to change the music, 
willing to change the pattern of our movement and our relating.  
Willing to step from each other and look into the eyes.  
Willing to see the other and what they really want.  
Willing to see what we want.  
Willing to want!  
Do you feel the chills through your body? I do! 
Because I know how scary this sudden stop can be.  
Haw daring it looks from outside, and probably unsafe.  
Same music will try to take you again on the same waltz, 
when you are so damn ready to let go into rhythm of flamenco! 
You might grip on each other at times, taking each other again and again 
on the same spin around the hall. 
But isn’t it like the last dance of the night, you both know: it is over? 
Take your shoes off, relax, my dear friend.  There will be more of this, 
and there will be more music next week!
 Maybe same partner, maybe not,
but surely you will keep dancing!








Friday, June 22, 2018

Beyond Peace of Mind

Please drop this idea that you will become peaceful and happy if you wake up. Yes you might have these periods, but awakening is not into peace, but into clarity of who we are. From that clarity peace of mind might come, but still there will be different situations in life, and the mind will still do his reactions. At one point might be not peace, but fury, but would you be judging a child who tripped and fell down, and is crying in all his might? But look at him couple of minutes later, he is laughing like crazy! Who we are is crying, laughing and all in between, and have no preference for the mind state, only mind itself does. Mind has these ideas how to be awake, do not listen to that crap, just be like that spontaneous child. This is what life of nobility is about: to find peace that is beyond peace of mind.