Monday, October 15, 2018

How to navigate this life

This would be awesome, right, if I could tell you?
Or if someone would tell me.  But it’s not gonna happen.
Wait, there are a lot of those who claim they know,
please understand, they at most found the way for themselves.

Sure we can share with each other,
and by resonance we connect, and trust, and listen.
But we also forget that we all have different configuration of the mind,
though we are one at the core, our minds process life differently.

This is why there are so many modalities and teachers,
because it is needed, like different species perform different functions.
Please don’t get stuck as a helpless child to one of them forever.
Grow up besides waking up. 

It does sound almost foreign, sure.  You spent half a life trying to wake up.
You thought this is an ultimate goal in life.  And it might be!
But life continues, you know, it doesn’t stop, or suddenly becomes all perfect.
Now with that expanded knowing you need to walk the same streets as before!

How to navigate the same life when you woke up out of the illusion of separation,
 out of the spell to be this body, thinking and emotions?
Start paying attention to what you are here for.
Stop rushing to do, and start seeing what exactly you are here to do.

You slow down this character you are in, you get to know them.
You start notice the fixations developed through the unconscious living,
the hand-ups, what we call “conditioning”, the learned behaviours,
habits, patterns, which were created mostly for protection in the illusion of separation.

Can you see that waking up is not really an event in time,
but a state of mind at the present moment, now.
I do not want to diminish any existential experiences,
they were absolutely necessary for the mind to release the veil of separateness. 

But please do not hold on to the memories, they will not help now,
who even cares that you now think you are awake? 
Human brain is a highly adaptive organ, it will immediately
creates new, upgraded image of “awaken me”. 

What’s important is to continue to be honest, continue an inquiry,
what I mean here, just questioning any ownership the mind assumes.
Does’t have to be robotic, just natural simple curiosity
about the mechanisms of identification and creation of identities.

At some point life becomes lucid.  Awake life is the same life,
just like a night dream is the same dream as a lucid dream.  Its a dream.
In lucid living you live life from the perspective of the character,
though you know you are not it.  It happens without effort.

This is very important to understand, if the effort is present,
it comes from the mind - it tries to highjack reality to make it it’s achievement.
Being here/now is the simplest thing, not even possible not to be,
but “trying” to be here/now is a mind’s simulation.

If you are lost and feel the pain of separation, then follow the pain.
Turn to the pain, face to face, ask it to reveal what’s wrapped in it.
Here you can use any modality available: from behavioural psychology 
to energy medicine, mind inquiry, body somatic inquiries - whatever resonates, 
you just see what is easier for your mind to engage in, by itself or guided.

Waking up is opening the perception to who you are
besides the body and the brain, and opening the eyes to what life is,
besides believing everything you’ve told. It is a rite of passage not for everyone, 
but the courageous and curious, who are driven to it 
more then they are driven to preserve safety.

Growing up is clearing the pains, not running away and chasing bliss, 
but saying yes to all you’ve got.  It is seeing that no one is responsible 
for the current mind state you are in. 
By waking up to who you are this will be clear why.

With these two lines of work, effortless and engaged at the same time,
You are in this life in a unique positioning, can you see that?
Reliance on anyone else to explain the way, to zap, to use the magic wand 
won’t bring the clarity, at most just bring a temporary relief, 
though I am not against that either.

Wake up, my friend, then grow up, perhaps vice versa - 
in all the different ways this can present itself.
There are no calculations, no analysis, no linear ways to it,
relax into what’s present and follow your life’s own unique trajectory.

I found this drawing by Annie Mueller both true and FUNNY! :)

Monday, October 8, 2018

Exploring sexuality as a part of the human experience

I wrote these essays long ago, but they are still relative, because many people on a spiritual path don't know how to fit sexuality into it.  My own explorations, mostly questioning, started as soon as I stepped on a spiritual path in my mid 20th.  I am still exploring this area of a human life, especially now I have a partner who gave me all the space to become a lover fully within a union.  I will be writing some essays exploring this area, my interest lies in experiencing and clarifying any areas of a human life from the perspective of transformation of consciousness.

Essays exploring human sexuality:

Transformation of sexual energy and the value of equanimity

Seeker on a Spiritual Path: Conquering Sexual Desire

When Two Come Together Physically

Lovemaking as a divine transmutative experience

Is it difficult to look in the eyes?

I received the letter from a young woman asking about her difficulties in looking straight into people's eyes.  This is so common, and I know this pull to hide firsthand.  I wrote in a way that would hopefully resonate with her, and maybe it will be helpful for someone else.

Is it difficult to look in the eyes of another and you take them away? Perhaps you do not feel there is enough space 
between you two for you to be yourself. 

Therefore you contract, even slightly, into a role 
that doesn’t fit quite perfectly, rather it is limiting, shrinking role, that your being can’t accept anymore as a good outfit.

In the limiting perception of yourself, you do not see
the fullness of who you are, and you afraid the other also see you 
in limitation, as you see yourself, which is exactly how it works.

Make sure every time you face someone to talk, you establish your body upright, 
inhale deeply and open your shoulders.  Feel the empowerment, 
feel your place here in this lifetime as much valid and important as anyones, without exceptions. 

Your presence is precious, just like anyone else’s, as much.
Your wellbeing is beneficial to this world like everyone’s else, no doubt. Your attention is focused energy,  just like in every other human being.
Remember this, re-group yourself as soon as you caught yourself 
not seeing yourself in fullness of who you are.

Can you see that from this embrace from your own worth and uniqueness, 
from your own presence, your light, your fullness, you do not need to take your eyes elsewhere, but look straight with openness, love, compassion, interest and curiosity…

Saturday, October 6, 2018

Are you afraid to loose an awakening?

My friend, what to run away?  What to be afraid to loose?
You are what Knows, what Aware.  You are THAT.
Relax into the humanness, do not hold on to the transcendent.
Holding on keeps you in a perpetual solidifying memories of transcendent states,
not living in this moment, not playing and enjoying life as is. 

If you do not aware you are THAT at this very moment, it is only means
you dove into the feelings deep,  into the character that is taking the stage,
but you never lost yourself,  it is just an illusion of being lost.
How the actor can be lost, but for a time when playing wholeheartedly that role?
Sometimes he needs a glass of water, a walk, a mirror to look to bring him back to who he is.

You can enjoy the stage, the act.  Relax into the role.
The play is not forever,  it has an end.  It also has some changing acts,
where you can see between the roles you play, reminding yourself of who you are.
Isn't the best actor awards are given to those who forget that they are playing, and we forget with them, immersed into the scene, living it?!

Perhaps it is possible not to dive in the character that deep at times,
or maybe not for long.  But if it happens to be deep enough, have no fear, friend!
Attention is a vector of Awareness.  It can be pointed, directed, practiced.
When actor takes a role and step onto the stage, he is directing his attention
to the feelings, thoughts of character he plays.  At anytime he can direct attention to himself
and know who he is.

Monday, October 1, 2018

Some humanities...

One day I might be able to write more about this life changing and life giving relationship. I have so much to say, I get overwhelmed and I don't know where to start. Though I am guilty of it on many topics! I have so much to express that if I won't have anything to experience anymore, I can still write about what I already experienced and understood to the end of this life. The most fascinating thing that the essence of who I am that unveiled itself to 8 months old baby Alenka now is the same in 50 years old Elena. Gosh, so much lived, and nothing changed at all. I can write to the rest of this lifetime about this mystery, telling stories of my own life of slowly changing face, without ever changing at all

Wednesday, September 26, 2018

Keep going, my friend!

Some raw paragraphs on awakening...

Because of the efforts of your practice,
or maybe it is just because of grace touched you in the middle of your life, like it did with my friend in a bookstore,
and another one in a supermarket, and one more I know -
he was riding his motorcycle,

suddenly you find yourself in a state of recognition
of who you are.  The mind that a moment ago was focused in this very human you though you were, now is limitless,
and you are not at all the little human:
the form, the body, and it's brain.

Who Am I? If this question appears in the space of limitlessness,
this is a gift of the human effort trying to know this very mystery
by repeating this question day after day
with no satisfying answer for years.

The question appears by itself, there is no one thinking it,

no one asking, no one carrying it forth, it is just there
as a self-perpetuated vibration: "Who Am I?" -
a divine curiosity.

I AM.  No name, no form, no thing. It's all I AM,
Awareness.  The search that took decade or even two, or three,
it sized, you are found, my friend.

Beware here.  Please be careful, it's not the end.
And you will understand this later, when the expansion 

folds itself, and focus back into the human mind.

Be very vigilant and see how the mind turns on the old program,
I AM might quickly to become "I am", "I had", "I saw", "I felt",
"I experienced", "I was", "I know". In some it might become "I am Awareness", easy!  Just keep inquiring who is talking, who's saying that, who is affirming?

When the experience does fades, it does not mean it disappeared,
got lost or never happened.  It"s like a tornado that goes through the field and turns around objects, the experience of pure awareness will re-arrange the brain. To what extent, we do not know,
but you won't be the same.

It took a minute, two, or longer, this was enough to disrupt
the old mechanisms.  You might not notice at first.
And many don't, they are trying to continue where they have left;
the same life story.

Same character, same job, same people,
same town, house and a cat, but why it feels so different now?
Why things that were important, not important anymore,
why it is hard to find motivation to keep the job, be nice,
and play the roles: "good husband", "perfect co-worker", 
"sweet lady", "always helpful", "responsible", "a seeker"...

Here is the real challenge comes, my friends.
This challenge is in living life when all the old structures are 

not fitting.  Remember when you were 12 or so, and came to school after the summer time 6 inches taller? Your old pants are higher then your ankles, and you can't button up the shirt?!  You can't shrink back yourself, you need a new wardrobe.

Same here.  You can't shrink yourself into the mind that
makes believe that you are Peter.  Or Bill, or Kathy, Susan, or "Sweet Pie", or "Pumpkin", "Sugar Plum", "good old boy", etcetera.

These are the times to navigate the old life with new perception.
It is not easy!  Boy, it took me years to sort out old closet,
along with all the characters in it.

The more true life you had before expansion, lucky!
True partner, true work, true place, the "truer-er" you were
to who you are,  the easier return. True relaxation.
The more you hid your face from all the true, the bumpier the ride.
Just give yourself much time, be open, be innocent, be patient.

With time the closet will be sorted, and maybe even not one time.
Be kind to yourself, and also to others.
Sometimes we have to part, but we can keep the love.

The seeking, yes, forgot about that, sometimes it stops.
But keep the inquiry - keep questioning the mind,
when he assumes a master role, a doer, an owner,
an enlightened one, awake.  Keep asking, keep turning the attention to what's aware.  Keep going, my friend <3

Saturday, September 22, 2018

Witness vs Awareness

For the advanced seeker.  Please do not take this name as an assault.  Lately everyone has an idea to end the spiritual search.  But it happens on it's own accord.  Nothing shameful in being a seeker,  the path is not one shot deal, like ego wants.  Sure, there are revelations on the way,  and then mind sneak into the next identification, and we need to honestly see that.  This small essay-exploration is a pointer to the next level of discernment that many are ready for.

Witness vs Awareness

Witness is not a natural state.
There is some effort, tension in the mind to maintain it.
Awareness requires no effort, its always there.
Mind can't register it.  Mind is not an instrument that is able to register and describe awareness, just like it is not possible for any system to know the system that includes it. 

When awareness aware of itself, mind is not there, how he can know of this natural state of existence?!
He doesn't.  But he will try to be a rightful owner of it!
As soon as it's abilities to conceptualise back after wordless experience of awareness, he will sell you the truth of experience that he has nothing to do with, mixed with concept, where he will hide himself as a member of the experience: 
"I had an experience. I am an awareness"  

If you hear this phrase in your head, beware, it's not the truth.
Awareness is an immediacy of being, where no words are possible to describe it, because the faculties to describe are not the part of the experience.

There might be a state of being where awareness aware of itself - a revelation experience of pure awareness, and a state of being where awareness is a phenomena itself.  It does not mean awareness if not present, it is focused into the different activity, it hides it's own face into the skin. Doesn't matter where it is focused: aware of itself or appear as phenomena, in that natural existence there is no tension.

In a contrary, witness is a state of mind with an effort to maintain, to hold the view, the distance.  It keeps duality, subtle and sneaky form of duality, quasi-non-duality.  Mind is maintaining the dream of being awake.  Question every idea about yourself that comes from the mind in a way of a description of who you are.  Who you are not a description, but a living experience. 

Thursday, September 20, 2018

What's the point?

An inquiry in the middle of negation of life )

Very often after the transcendental experience
coming back to a ‘regular” life as a human here
seems dull and not stimulating to the mind enough,
so he speaks: “This is not it, I lost an awakening. 
What can I do to go back to the state what “I” experienced!” 

Notice right there that the mind took the experience and made it it’s own.
Notice the mind runs the show again.  What a showman!
Look deeper, look not at mind talking and what it says, 

but look at the awareness of the mind talking. Look at it.  
You are not the talking mind.

And then the showman might come from another angle,
be attentive of it’s tricks.  It might say: “This life is an illusion, what’s the point?”
He will continue to solicit the attention with questions:
“If this is an illusion, what’s the point to live and experience life, whats the point?”
“If there is no choice, no will, what’s the point”?!

At this moment can you become very quite and again, 
see what asks this question. If you really attentive you notice 
the thought just keep churning in the mind: "What's the point”, it's just there. 
Now look at who is asking "What's the point"?
You are not a thought, You don't need the point to exist, you just are.

For the mind it is uncomfortable place to be: 
no explanation, no direction, no goal at this moment, just reality.
"Out of job" mind doesn't understand what is the point of pure existence 
without mental interpretation, and so he asks. 
He truly asks this question, he is not pretending he doesn't know.

You are not the mind. You know.
When the question arise: "What's the point?"  Look where is you. 
Someone knows of this question, something perceives the thought.
Something aware of it. There is a knowing of it. Look there. 
Then the question “Whats the point”? becomes a doorway to yourself. 
It gets answered right at that moment in the clarity of the experience.

Monday, September 17, 2018

My journey is different now

My journey is different now, it is not new wisdom acquired out of transcendence, it is more shedding what is hiding the wisdom that is always present. The transcendent is always here, nothing to reach for, our nature is clear and free, what covers it is the old identities - limiting, unconsciously carried roles. My process has been shedding the old in a spontaneous way for the last seven years especially, from more coarse to more subtle now, clearing the view to my own heart ❤️

Sunday, September 16, 2018

To walk as a fully human

This is the human way: walk, trip, stand up, shake up and walk again. If you avoid walking this way by hiding into transcendent, know that the avoidance is futile. To walk as a fully human we walk transcendent and human simultaneously: vertically into the limitlessness and horizontally into maturity 

Sunday, September 9, 2018

The Quest Worthy Undertaking

( An essay on pain, suffering, maturation of awakening ) 

I remember those monsters - the dirty, dusty asphalt rollers:
a small cabin with a man behind the most biggest cylinders I ever saw in existence.
In 50 years and all the technical progress, they did not change much,
same heavy metal cylinder that rolls and presses hot asphalt matter into the road.

This is exactly how I feel in the most sensitive days:
I feel as I was just passed over by the asphalt roller, as something bigger then me
just didn’t notice a little human on the road, and I got worked into the horizontal plane.
The amount of pressure on my body I can only describe with a help of this road equipment. 
It used to be a regular thing, and now it happens very rarely, still same sense 
of being worked into the two dimensional impression of being.

The pressure happens without any warning, and leaves suddenly without notice too.
There is some hormonal equilibrium, ever changing in a human organism
that I suspect as a landscape for this sudden experience of a great pressure.
I experience it mostly in my head, sometimes I feel as my scalp will crack one day,
releasing the pressure, like in a pressure cooker at the end of the cycle when you turn the
valve to the side, they call it “quick release” in an instructions that comes with the cooker.

As much as I always wished for “quick release”, it never happened.  
I learnt to agree with my body on the length of a cooking cycle.  
It might be half a day, or a day, or a little longer, there is no way to predict.  
Cycles in the past were months and years, imagine, so a day of pressure does’t bother me. 
I am just a little more kinder on myself.  I rest, take it easy, sometimes I take a pill.  
I used to be stoic, applying mindfulness philosophy:  just observing with great attention, 
no grasping, no pushing away, no trying "to fix".  Now I apply kindness 
and swallow a prescription strength pill with no spiritual remorse. 

Just like the road steam rollers are not changed or improved much 
in the last 50 years, my human body is just as vulnerable as before.  
It is still made of the same organic matter.  Same soft brain in a shell of the head 
gives impulses to all the organs, same red viscus fluid runs in a tiny capillaries,
bringing oxygen in and the waste material out of the cells.  Same mechanism 
that draws the air through the nostrils and releases it out.  Same waves of emotions, 
same sensations, same thinking process.  And at the same time, it is all different.

The pains and tensions don't bring suffering, the emotions are allowed fully,
and therefore they pass quicker, without hanging for days and months. 
I can cry and laugh in the matter of seconds, ask anyone close to me, 
even my acupuncturist.  Rick is a master of needles, he moves energies in my body 
with this mastery, and he can make me cry and laugh at the same time.
My facial expression would make a transition from  a "sad" to a "happy" 
with a pause in the middle in a neutral suspension. 

The eyes still full of tears, but the corners of my mouth already curled up, 
reminding me a porcelain Venetian mask with a painted tear under one eye, and a smile.  
What can better visually represent the roles we assume and play in life, without knowing!
I love that my face can do both mind states at the same time, even for a short time! 
It is just enough to confuse the usual brain patterns.

Suddenly there is a space without description. 
You are present, and you have more then one face now.  
Imagine what happens to habitual neurological passages? They collapse. 
The old mask has fallen, you are free from one more illusion about yourself! 

This space, where the mind does not describe you in old terms anymore and 
by the old roles, appears limitless.  There is a lightness of being you feel, and you notice 
you are not really physical, you are aware of physicality, but you are not limited to that.
You can have different pains, tensions, faces, appearances.  You can experience 
changing mind states, you can have variety of life engagements, and at the same time 
you are not that at all.  

Seeing the fullness of Life itself, the grand illusion of it, makes life not only bearable, 
but interesting. Great tension or pain: physical or emotional does not evoke suffering, 
mostly wonder.  Pain is pain, until it is “mine”, then it becomes suffering, can you see?  
The only way to be free from suffering is seeing who you are, and that is the quest 
worthy undertaking. 

Monday, August 27, 2018

Sharing and connecting

I receive sometimes from you, my friends, letters of appreciation. Some of them are longer and some very short, but I want to tell you, I appreciate all of them greatly, they do help me to continue to share. I would write anyways, but if I not know it helps others, I probably won't post. I would talk to close to me few people, work with people who contact me for personal consultation, write in my own computer, but sharing on this blog and my Facebook page almost every day for so many years would die out by now, if I not know by your messages that my voice resonates with some of you who read these posts year after year, or who connect with them at times. The recent message I received: "Your writings mean and do a lot for me", basically the meaning behind all your messages, and I deeply appreciate your expression to me, people 💞
Here is how to reach me, if you want to connect: 

You can write to me private message on Facebook.

You can write to me email to the address on gmail that has a name of my blog: CompleteHumanity.

I want to hear how my writings help now, or helped you in a past, or maybe you just like to read it because it resonates with your experience, maybe you feel like my friend and I don't know it, please let me know! Thank you so much for taking a time and writing to me!
With gratitude, Elena ✍

Sunday, August 26, 2018

Trust your own experiment!

Tomorrow I will write something opposite, I always do, I am not consistent, and piss some people off who need exact instructions. I want to remind you that no one knows what you need, I do not know that neither, and especially I do not think that everybody needs the same direction, same teaching, same suggestion. In fact, I lean more into believing that our journeys are so unique that even the biggest teachers you trust, fail if they try to deliver cookie cutter messages. So what and whom to trust? I would say, listen to messages, and see what resonates, take that, and what doesn't push aside for today. Tomorrow might something else resonate. Don't be afraid to experiment with anything, see if it sticks, or it was just a nice concept again on your ears. Trust your own experiment 

Thursday, August 23, 2018

Contemplation on Imperfection

My writings are so imperfect, and more then that, I just publish it on my blog as is -- imperfect, raw, something that would be absolutely embarrassing for most writers!  I pondered on it too, you know, I was what we call "perfectionist" before, and as a perfectionist and someone who learnt English as an adult, I couldn’t write anything perfect, so I didn’t write at all. And then I discovered that I can be imperfect, and my writings too, and instead now I have a blog full of writings that helped many people around the world who connected with it! 

What if this very imperfection is something important?  What if the reader feels the intensity of my own struggle with bringing forth insight with only this choice I've got in terms of language?  What if this very feeling they get from almost every my writing is the feeling of courage -- courage to express myself to the world in the way I can?  What if any other subject I am talking about in a post or an article is already held and carried by this energy of courage?  

Those who connect with my writings, they connect wit me on a deeper level, as though we are in a satsang -- meeting in truth -- we are vulnerable as human beings and not limited to the humanness at the same time.  We hold the humanness with care, we see it’s innocence, and allow it to be in any way it can be, without judgments or expectations. In that freedom we suddenly find ourselves as bare awareness, and our humanness is no problem anymore. 
This is the alchemy I am participating in.

Wednesday, August 22, 2018

Important decision I made

You know, all these years, last 7-8 or so, I have been writing and posting on my blog Complete Humanity and Facebook without delay. I knew if I start to treat it as a precious pieces of writing, editing to the perfection, it won't be released in the immediacy, in the time when it is the most needed.  
I now have an editor who helps me to put "Buddha on a Bull" ( Formally named "Integration of Awakening") book together, which I was writing for the last couple of years, and looking forward to release as soon as we are done with this work!  I am looking for good independent/indie publisher, or someone who is proficient in the formatting and making book ready for print.  I decided not to deal with traditional publishers, I feel the future is in publishing independently.  

This decision wasn't easy for me, but it is clear now how to proceed. It is more prestige to be published by a big house, and perhaps, it can reach more people, but I am not here for prestige in this lifetime, and also not to touch everybody, just some. Since my last contract with New Harbinger Publications Inc. expired, I do not want to spend anymore time to try to acquire another contract. Please support me in my journey as an indie author ❤️ 

I am asking for support in spirit, in intention, in invocation for success, in suggestions, in collaboration in any way, if you have an experience with publishing independently.

Please share with me anything I need to know how to publish independently, or maybe you know who can help me with any stage of this work, please send them this message.

If you can support this endeavour financially, this will help tremendously too!  You can donate in any feel-good amount on my website and, if you send me an email with your name and address, I will send you a book when it's ready, I will do it with most gratitude! 

Here is the link:
Scroll to the bottom of the page to see Donation button.

Saturday, August 18, 2018

After Transcendent, Growing Up!

This one is very raw, but I don't have energy to make it better then it came out, so here it is:

We are so "evolve and awake"
that it is hard to actually be your own face,
we now have "an awake face" which hide behind itself 

your unresolved childhood, how convenient!

We went through life carrying that childhood
in believes, feelings, actions, that felt not true,
but we did not know what is true,
so we just kept hiding behind "nice" and "it's ok".

Awakening is not a mask to hide behind,
if it is not a mind trip, awakening will leave one bare.  

All the masks get cracked right through the middle, 
the pieces fall for everyone in presence to observe! 

Yes, there is a time to re-orient yourself, my friend,
you got the rest of this lifetime for that, no hurry!
But please do not put a new mask of "awake"
on your wonderfully fresh and unique face!

Know that you are porous now, 

not much needed from you, just to hang on
and go by your business.  
Everything not true in you 
will percolate through the pores of your being in time.

It may take a month, a year, or a few! Yes,
awake is not a saint! It is the same human with enlarged pores!
Awakening is an event that leaves the human very vulnerable,
though it depends on a skin type. Please smile here! 😊

See, after years of living an awakened perspective
you might come to an event where you have to step up
from behind perspective into the Being,

and see that it is not ok what was ok before!

And it is solely your mess, no one tied you,
no one held you hostage, they actually were hinting you 

all the time: "Look, I am not nice to you!  I am here to play my part, so you give up that fear, love" I am your Dharma friend!

They are here as a major help in the disillusionment,
and the longer you hold on to them, the longer you gonna sweat through the enlarged pores like a pig, d
oes it resonate?  
At least a bit?  Or maybe I made you smile! 😄

Our Dharma friends will make everything not ok,

or at least something, but you will keep disregarding the clues, 
the signs, sometimes the clear messages, the feeling!
You hold all at bay, keep being polite, keep smiling.

Then one day you grow up, 

you tell them what you actually feel, and that you got it! 
Something that wasn't possible before, is now clear.  
Being a pig for some long time helps! Believe me! 😉

We all are Dharma friends, partners, sisters, brothers,
and it is mutual support we give each other
in this strange way, but it works! Like 1000 pieces puzzle

that can be completed only by interlocking all the pieces.

The same in Maya.

Thursday, August 16, 2018

In the humane and transcendent simultaneously

I am having some vivid dreams lately, I didn't have dreams for many years, I made a speculation about it that brain had to rest after hard reboot some years ago. But lately there are some resolutions in my dreams, mostly letting go of the remains of the conforming traits and just affirming uniqueness of the character. Awakening is a vertical axis of the cross, and it is a starting point to live the fullness of who we are consciously, and maturation brings the best of the human we are, traveling horizontal timeline. This is dying and resurrecting on a cross -- the journey is not easy, but it is the most fulfilling of what is possible to live as a human!

Wednesday, August 15, 2018

Become intimate with your own mind.

Different minds have different abilities of clarity and focus, mostly it is easier to have a contemplative mind state, then the mind state of "no thought", since it is more natural for the thinking mind to think, then be empty of thoughts.

I find people have so much reverence to thoughtless mind, especially those who never really have it thoughtless. This creates a feeling in them that awakening is impossible, since many around point to awakening as having a no thought state. It creates confusion about thinking mind and what it is means to be awake. Awakening wrongly associated with no thinking.

Contemplative practices are specifically designed for those with active mind - not randomly thinking, but focusing the mind in a specific direction and remaining in contemplation about specific subjects. Buddhism and Christianity both offer this path, Natives use prayer as a contemplative focusing, great works of poetry came from contemplative mind states, great teachings are contemplative in it's nature.

Please do not chase the homogenised goose of "no thought", become intimate with your own mind, notice how it works, what it needs, how it operates, how it is unique. Become so intimate that you are not in a contradiction with your own mind, you use it as a tool, it is available to you. Learn how to use this instrument effectively. Otherwise we use the hammer to fix a computer, you know what happens next...we smash the keyboard, and end up with a piece of equipment that we can't let go off and can't really utilise properly.

Parting with someone significant

I am noticing one particular scenario
in my life story
releasing it's grip in the past two years,
one old relationship at a time.

It took years for both of us to see this is the end,
this is it, right now we arrived.
It came to a point that it hurts both of us
to continue to move in the same direction,
it is time to let go.

Disillusionment that always present
in letting go of the old, is painful.
For me it feels more as "intense" then "painful",
still, you understand me,
it is not the usual every day
dealings with people.

It is an apex of your karmic involvement with someone,
and you done a great job for each other.
The harder it was at the end especially,
the better job was done, can you see it?
The roles were played perfectly!
Worthy of the Oscar nomination!

And so in parting now,
no explanations needed.
I SEE you, my Dharma friend!!
I wish you light on your path,
and wonderful companions to walk along with,
easy terrain, and clarity of the mind.

Anything that will be explained at this point
about relationship and the break up
is not quite right,
doesn't matter how much one tries.
I tried enough times just to learn to shut up,
and let it be as it is.

It is because the explanations are on the level of events,
and the parting with Dharma friend
is deeper then events in the scenario.
So just let it be unexplained,
let it be how it is, even if it feels messy,
not nice, and not pretty.

Even if they try to hold on to you,
leave. Be as gentle as possible, but leave.
You know exactly when,
if you don't, then it's not a time yet,
you still have some scenes
to be together in, see it is simple...

I have written on this topic before in various articles,
every time it comes out a little different,
every time one more reader gets it,
they needed just this little difference in writing
to resonate fully with the words,

and understand a deeper meaning.

Another article on the same topic: