It was very important for me to exit the spiritual scene, exit spiritual Aggregate, drop teaching and guiding. These activities make a certain identity, and I didn’t want to be limited by any identity of an authority made up in the minds of people and my own mind.
If I ever work with people again, it will be on a Land⛰ , by the river 🌊 , under the Sun 🌞 , or by the fire 🔥, because I trust only Nature and Elements to guide me to guide myself and others.
Even though Enlightenment said to be not personal undertaking, people still secretly dream to wake up so their suffering disappear and they find themselves in a higher knowledge to “help” others. This never sounded true to me. Only fools can create such a picture of a spiritually awake man, and to maintain this picture is hard work, because it is false. The times of great chaos in the last several years shuttered ego trip of many who saw themselves in any kind of spiritual authority, at least, it exposed these “authorities” as just as much followers of the larger energetic bodies, as everyone else. They sold out their Will for exchange to become big in the world, their teachings exploded in reach, they received minds of followers, money, status, admiration - whatever their clever ego that fooled them desired. But nothing is for free, their worldly expansion was paid by their imprisonment.
I first hand saw how people readily give their Will, their judgment to someone who sit in front of them in the identity of a spiritual teacher. This never felt right to me, I was strongly appalled by this feeling, maybe at that time I still felt “not worthy” from my childhood conditioning, and this actually helped not to go too far into the false for me direction. And maybe my own Conscience didn’t allow me to fall into this trap. All of this didn’t make me develop the identity of a spiritual teacher, I became “nobody” in the Spiritual Aggregate, but I am a free man now that expects nothing from this Aggregate and owes nothing to it.
In the years of almost complete isolation from spiritual scene I deepened in wisdom, deepened in love, deepened in compassion to humanity. It wasn’t an easy journey, and it wasn’t at all a journey of someone in the identity of a teacher. In a contrary, I assumed a beginner mind, a student role, and was learning from every situation, everyone who came my way. I put myself in different temporary roles and learnt from all of them: from becoming a dishwasher, a janitor, a cook, wife, lover, friend, student, apprentice, coach, writer, author, follower, trader, investor, freedom fighter, traveler, hiker, explorer, passer by, and others, - I learnt from all of these roles valuable lessons and then left most of them behind. For some of them I had to change my identity, assume un-assuming roles, for some I had to step into unknown to me territories and expand my being. All of them served me well and I am grateful for my life to give me the opportunities to make these choices to participate in life in such a varied way. I was gathering knowledge in myself by living life fully.
I wish you all find your own way of growing and maturing in wisdom, life is a struggle for the Blind and a playground for the Bold, and only limited by our imagination.
I love you, guys, you give me the space to express myself, and I very grateful for that. Thank you and let’s keep riding this lifetime together !🔥❤️🙏
