Saturday, December 15, 2018

Organic maturation in awakening


I am noticing how at peace I am with myself, even in the middle of some stormy circumstances, I am calm. This is not the calm out of detachment "there is no me", "me is an illusion", this is calm of the beingness, it feels like my heart is at peace, my body is relaxed, my mind is calm. I have been patiently waiting for it, I knew there is no way to make it happen, other then live and let it all settle by itself. The big changes in me in the last several years really visible to the naked eye: I am not in the conforming character anymore, I live and walk my talk.

I do not need to protect any image of being somebody, or being beyond being somebody, or an image of transcendent somebody. I am grateful to life to see this fairy early in my years (relatively) after waking up, that negate the human, the character/the roles we play, adopt the concept as world as an illusion, while energetically still participating in it until the death of the physical form, will only be fooling myself. It will be giving green light to the clever and adaptive mind to create another illusion of no me, but basically just another identity. I do not see that living in this very character needs to be changed on living in "no character", for me for sure it doesn't make sense. I know it, because I did live it for first couple of years, and I somehow I knew that this was not the truth.

This world is an illusion, yes, the form, the name does not exist, its a fractal, a holographic image in the space of consciousness, the closest metaphor I can find at the moment. I had a direct and profound experience of it, this is why I am where I am now in my being. I had been re-worked from "head to toes" :) And also though continues inquiry through the years I discovered that my mind naturally inclined to Revelation beyond the physical world. My mind also is inclined to sensing the physicality continually, so it mostly always present to what is happening. Between these two my life turns, as one wise man said :) Different mind states arise in the field of pure consciousness, and life is happening organically, as it is always is. I am conscious.

But I found that suppression of what's already here and available, and creation of something illusionary in the mind as "no-self", "no character" takes a lot of life force to maintain it. If one lives in the immediacy of being, and feel complete every night when they go to bed, then they fully lived and utilized this very character of theirs to it's full capacity, and there is no need to even doubt it, no need to invalidate it, deny it, or suppress, no need to go beyond it, or transcend it. Do you see how it works? It works naturally.

You do not need to do really anything, but continue to live what's here. You do not need to pretend you are not this person, you just fine to be this person, or this character. The issue arise only when we want to build something else then what it is: build awake image, enlightened persona, something that falls into our idea of us as awake, authority, teacher. Other then that, who the heck cares you think about yourself as a character or "no-character" in daily life? I love to be in a company of awake friends, those who do not deny their humanness, so we just have a good time, without affirming to each other that we are not really selves here.

Though I sort of left non-duality community, I have written a lot for this community, because I saw many were stuck in a temporary nihilistic zone for too long. Denial and nihilism happens to most, the integration into life as a human for some is really tough endeavor. I will continue to write on the maturation in awakening beyond temporary stations. Since I am denied access to LiberationUnleashed Page, you can find my writings on my blog Complete Humanity.

My apologies for posting my fundraiser to cover my tuition costs at the end of my posts. This is temporary, and you do not need to act in any way. I learn as I go. I saw artists, creatives posts a link to their gofundme page on their blog to support their efforts, and I tried this way, and I greatly appreciate everyone who helped. Elena's GoFundMe page


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