Monday, July 10, 2017

The Destructive nature of Awakening



With my brain re-wiring for many years after awakening (7 years in Sept 2017), my old life completely dissolved, there is nothing to hold on to for me anymore, everything from the past is gone, everything.  Every person, every environment from the past is gone.  I shed all I could, though it was not my choice.  

Given a choice, I would choose more gentle and kinder ways for myself, not stripping all to the bare bones. If you think you can control this process, I can assure you, it will be absolutely unexpected way unfolding for you every moment. We project how it should be and in what way.  It is an old thinking trying to secure the place in a journey forward with you, but it will be left behind anyways, you will be amazed how. All the suggestions from all the teachers in the world will not help you at that moment, you would have to face the destructive forces of the enlightenment by yourself, and there is no way to prepare for that.

 People will project on you all kinds of things: their ideas about you, where you stand, and what's going on, but it has nothing to do with you, and you will have to let go of that garbage too.  You would have to stand for your own way of being, in spite of their judgment, their own misunderstanding, that you at sensitive times will take as your own. You would have to drop that transference, and it will involve more judgment and more misunderstanding, but you will have to learn how not to listen to that, and continue to breathe. 

 There will be also body changes involved, sometimes sickness, misbalance, apathy, and you will have to ride with that too, you will learn complete humbleness.  You will be blind for sometimes where you are and where you are heading, and you will make steps in all kinds of directions, that will serve you well or not, but there is no way you can calculate the trajectory.  Sometimes it will seem like you went sideways, and there is no way out, but then you will find yourself breath with full lungs again. 


 You will see all kinds of writings about awakening and enlightenment, and they wont have to do anything with you at the moment you experiencing, please trust what you live, even if it looks like a total disaster, a crucifixion.  In trust you will get clues on your next move, even if it is only a slight move of going outside for a walk, or a fleeting insight descending as a lightning into your being. Even the slightest move changes the world we are completely.  Every moment is a birth of that world.  May we completely die each moment without a doubt, and be reborn in a next one a little closer to the majesty we are.  

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Born in June 2011 out of inspiration to share how to end life long spiritual search, drop the observer, and return back to naturalness we are.

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