Have been clicked into conformed personality is not your fault. It's not anyone's fault, its how this program works. You were not feeling safe when you were a baby and immediately the mechanism of protection was created in the energy body. Now this very energy body walks around and clicks in with others by resonance...can you get it how you ended up in wrong relationships and living not your authentic self, but some phantom?
Here is another type of phantom character. Because it is rooted in control and power, it is much more difficult to see, accept the very fact of it, and start to let go. In a core of it is the same thing - fear and survival. Again, somewhere deep in the childhood their safety was compromised, and the energetic body was imprinted with constantly maintaining the illusion of control, and that imprint called in psychology, the narcissistic personality. In this scenario the authentic essence is deep into identification with the character that has domineering energetic imprint. Both of these false personalities are rooted in basic human emotion of fear. Both of these are survival mechanisms of the phantom character. Only seeing that clearly give you a chance to get un-plugged from this survival energetic armor. Denial will never lead to freedom and living your authentic self.
I studied innerly extensively the conforming, dependent phantom's mechanisms, and I help people to see these armors clearly, their characteristics and ways to freedom. I did not study narcissistic armor, but experienced its effect on myself. I know that there are many more who free themselves from conforming, then narcissism, just because feeling disempowered is easier to let go of, then letting go of power and control. But both of it is a big trap for the authentic being. I feel compassion for beings being clicked-in in both distorted characters without awareness.
There are many variations and specificities of the armor, so it is alway very individual journey to freedom. Psychotherapy can uncover the mechanisms. Since I mostly work with people in the field of spirituality and awakening, I know that many did try psychotherapy for years without a relief, and turned to extreme spirituality to ease the pain: became a perpetual spiritual seeker. Transcendence, experiencing oneness, awakening, will expand awareness so the phantom might be seen. It will not fix the pressure of the limitation of the energetic armor. But it might become very uncomfortable to live in it, so utterly uncomfortable, that one day you might clearly see and start to let go of it. Sounds True summit on Narcissism: https://www.soundstrue.com/store/understanding-narcissism-summit-ce-credits-1.html