By this time in life
she is tired from living all kinds of illusions.
This is how getting old actually beneficial,
because of the exhaustion.
It is giving permission for the mind
to relax the conditioned belief. At last!
If mind to decide itself about it,
no way he would let go,
but there is this tiredness, no energy to fuel that,
no interest to continue to play that role
that was imposed ages ago on this innocence she is.
Now she just relaxes into life as it is,
and mind releases the grip.
Suddenly she finds herself more free,
even if just a tiny bit,
maybe not to smile when she does't want to,
maybe not to apologise,
just have more space to be,
This is not convenient sometimes for some,
and they try to create different stories.
Maybe she even helped the creation of those stories
by trying to explain herself. This is what mind used to do.
Trying to explain to others herself,
and why she is suddenly checking out.
From limiting relation.
From the environment that is not correct for her.
From doing what is not beneficial for her.
From trying to be as normal as she could.
She never wanted to hurt anyone,
and by trying that so hard not to hurt, she hurt herself.
She is just done with that. She released that notion
that something has to be clear.
She was always aiming for clarity,
and she failed miserably.
She doesn't give a shit about any stories,
her own's mind or anyone's.
It has been exhausting to walk
through life, lifetimes, eternities,
conformed to imposed expectations.
Just get a grip that she doesn't want to be there anymore,
talk about it anymore, try to explain, discuss,
try to make it more convenient for you.
She just want to be left alone by anyone
who do not resonate with her aim to authenticity,
who do not come to her with an open heart
and allow her to be as she is, bare.
She does not want to hear any judgments
any suggestions for improvement,
She just loves this Genius~to~Freak character,
she got to ride in this lifetime!
If you can't see the value of transmutation
that she undergo for the last eight years
to benefit herself and the world
by who she is and by what she brings to the table,
just walk away,