Never forget your roots

I have an unusual story of someone who forgot their roots. Early on I left my homeland and never looked back, I only was reading and writing in English and eventually was thinking and dreaming only in English. 

Usually immigrants preserve their heritage, they read books and watch movies, follow news about their country of origin, especially if they left as adults. I left when I was 21, this was unconscious rebellion to the inner suffering that I dropped Russian/Ukrainian roots with all the culture and ability to think, speak and write in Russian. Precious baby went with all the dirty water. 

Two years ago it all came back in one big swoop 🔥🔥🔥 through the tremendous fire energy created by the war of the brother nations. I don’t know how I processed 30 years of absence to anything Russian in such a short time! 

My brain re-remembered it all and seems like it wasn’t damaged from long absence from Russian language inside the head, it started to think in Russian, dream in Russian at night and write in a pretty decent way, still better then speaking, but speaking will improve when I am able to visit Russia/Ukraine in a couple of years. 

The Русский language inside my head changing me, it’s deepened me, it brought new dimensions to my being, it is clarifying what is really important in my life as a Human. 

Russian language (Ukrainian too, and I am sure all the Other ancient languages), even in its modern form, is much more holographic- every word is a world in itself, like matrioshka, it has a root that has a real ancient meaning and sound of the word often is the real sound in nature. 

The ancient languages are living energies, and if it lives inside your head as thoughts, and you can decode them and feel them in you, they are moulding your being.  

I was writing something very personal to my relative in Ukraine, she speaks several languages. I started to write in English about my father, and as soon as I switched to Russian, I saw - thinking and writing in English allowed me to disassociate from being deeply hurt, unconsciously I was using language in a way not to feel whats really there. Thinking in Russian created an inner environment of real feeling and it struck me. 

I saw this today and want to share with all of the different people displaced from your homeland, and we know that the whole United States is full of displaced people, even if your parents were born here, their parents came from somewhere else. And Natives that were displaced by those grandparents, suffered even more. 

“A tree, no matter how thick its trunk, it is the roots that help to withstand the gusts of a furiously raging wind in bad weather.

The strength of a person is in the heritage of his Ancestors. Never forget your Roots.” ❤️🔥🙏

Personal Reflections on the Spiritual Journey

It was very important for me to exit the spiritual scene, exit spiritual Aggregate, drop teaching and guiding. These activities make a certain identity, and I didn’t want to be limited by any identity of an authority made up in the minds of people and my own mind. 

If I ever work with people again, it will be on a Land⛰ , by the river 🌊 , under the Sun 🌞 , or by the fire 🔥, because I trust only Nature and Elements to guide me to guide myself and others. 

Even though Enlightenment said to be not personal undertaking, people still secretly dream to wake up so their suffering disappear and they find themselves in a higher knowledge to “help” others. This never sounded true to me.  Only fools can create such a picture of a spiritually awake man, and to maintain this picture is hard work, because it is false.  The times of great chaos in the last several years shuttered ego trip of many who saw themselves in any kind of spiritual authority, at least, it exposed these “authorities” as just as much followers of the larger energetic bodies, as everyone else.  They sold out their Will for exchange to become big in the world, their teachings exploded in reach, they received minds of followers, money, status, admiration - whatever their clever ego that fooled them desired.  But nothing is for free, their worldly expansion was paid by their imprisonment. 

I first hand saw how people readily give their Will, their judgment to someone who sit in front of them in the identity of a spiritual teacher.  This never felt right to me, I was strongly appalled by this feeling, maybe at that time I still felt “not worthy” from my childhood conditioning, and this actually helped not to go too far into the false for me direction.  And maybe my own Conscience didn’t allow me to fall into this trap. All of this didn’t make me develop the identity of a spiritual teacher, I became “nobody” in the Spiritual Aggregate, but I am a free man now that expects nothing from this Aggregate and owes nothing to it.  

In the years of almost complete isolation from spiritual scene I deepened in wisdom, deepened in love, deepened in compassion to humanity.  It wasn’t an easy journey, and it wasn’t at all a journey of someone in the identity of a teacher. In a contrary, I assumed a beginner mind, a student role, and was learning from every situation, everyone who came my way. I put myself in different temporary roles and learnt from all of them: from becoming a dishwasher, a janitor, a cook, wife, lover, friend, student, apprentice, coach, writer, author, follower, trader, investor, freedom fighter, traveler, hiker, explorer, passer by, and others, - I learnt from all of these roles valuable lessons and then left most of them behind.  For some of them I had to change my identity, assume un-assuming roles, for some I had to step into unknown to me territories and expand my being.  All of them served me well and I am grateful for my life to give me the opportunities to make these choices to participate in life in such a varied way. I was gathering knowledge in myself by living life fully. 

I wish you all find your own way of growing and maturing in wisdom, life is a struggle for the Blind and a playground for the Bold, and only limited by our imagination. 

I love you, guys, you give me the space to express myself, and I very grateful for that. Thank you and let’s keep riding this lifetime together !🔥❤️🙏