Personal TV Saga

I think what helped me in life is that in most of my life I didn't watch TV. We had no TV when I was a child, I don't remember watching it at all, my family was poor, I was born on a unpaved street on the outskirts of a very small town in Ukraine. When me and Anthony were in Budapest, I noticed very similar air, just like in Ukraine, so I looked on the map how far it is from the town I was born, and was surprised that it was not that far, you can drive by car in one day. When I was looking at the map, I did the google zoom into the street and actually found the very house I was born in, I couldn't believe it had the same window shutters and still the same unpaved road!

At about 11 we went to live in East Germany where my parents got TV left from the previously stationed military family in the house, but the programs were in Germain, I did not understand and did not watch it, mostly spent my time in school and with my friends outside.

At 16 we came back to Russia and had to live 2 years in a military dormitories where families had a room to live in and a dormitory kitchen and a common room for everyone. After dinner people would gather around one TV in a common room and watch a movie. I couldn't stand to sit in a packed, hot room smelled with dirty socks of Russian Army officers, so I again, spent my time either with friends or reading.

By 18 my parents finally got their own apartment and eventually bought a TV. By that time I was more interested in guys, dating, and teen groups to hang out, not to sit with my parents and listen their commentaries about events on news. But I would watch sometimes soccer, iceskating main championships, music, fairytales, animal and travel around the world programs.

At 22 I immigrated to USA, didn't speak English to watch TV for long time, immersed myself in caring for my newborn baby, study and into reading because I could use electronic translator with books.

In my 30th we got TV, mostly to watch DVDs through VCR, since I don't remember watching anything else, except couple of seasons of American Idol, Batchelor and Apprentice, have to say it was super interesting And that was probably my biggest exposure to the television.

World-wide news came into my life fairly recently, after 40, through computer. But I never developed the need for news or any other programs on TV, and I am so happy about it.

Yesterday we watched the movie "Plandemic". It made a big impression on me mostly just uncovering how deep the conditioning through mass media and Google goes, how it is used as a sophisticated filter for information. When I say to people that I do not really read articles, watch news, not interested in numbers from government agencies, I am not kidding, I don't. I have very short attention span for this type of reading or videos, very rarely when I read something to the end or watch, like yesterday with this video Plandemic. And even it was interesting, I drifted in the middle of it. In all the honestly, my mind doesn't need something in it's entirety, it picks up what it needs very quickly and that's enough information, and I trust this feature.

If you familiar with Human Design, I was surprised to discover that I don't have any 1st lines in my design (I-ching energy lines describing the propensities of the mind). 1st line is about investigation, digging into available information, starting from basics, study from the beginning. Some have this energy very strongly in them, some less stronger, and it will be right for people to dig into information before making conclusions, but I have none of 1st lines. I don't need to study anything starting from basics, I can grasp the essence from any entry point. This was such a revelation for me some years ago, almost a relief of what I already knew and intuitively lived, but always felt inferior to those learned individuals who operate with data and know facts. Especially in Russia we overemphasized higher education and those with degrees wold definitely look down to those without, so most of us got degrees in doesn't matter what, just not to be left behind as stupid. Mine was Metallurgical Engineering, believe it or not!

So why I am so strong on my page about masks and other BS I see? Not because I follow news, numbers, hundreds of articles and videos, no, I have no interest, energy and focus for that. I say what I see and feel in myself, it is very raw and very innocent, and when people come back and say "You don't read information, it is a slippery slope" or "Aha, you don't read, then you can't know what is true" - these are written by people who have no idea how my mind operates, and they see it from their own perspective, having probably highly intellectual, analytical propensities of the mind to get information from the linguistic sources.

I live, observe, feel. Sometimes I do get visions, but I don't trust those, since they can be as conditioned as anything else. Sometimes I read and watch, but this is not my main source of information.

So anyways, I just wanted to say, if you want me to present you facts that prove your facts wrong, this is not my thing. Even if I post some facts sometimes, its mostly for people who need to read or watch to know. Please understand if you want me to debate anything, I am unable. Then you can conclude something like someone very popular in a spiritual scene did: "Aha, if you don't read and watch then you can't know what is true". Do whatever you want, but for me this would point that we are not on the same fractal, you don't need my insight, you will never take from me because your mind need factual information that I don't have, and therefore it is more kinder for us to part.

Have a greatest day today!

Love, Elena

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Keep walking!

Anyone who suffered through life the restriction of their own sovereignty, or restriction of speech, or were not able to stand in their own center, their own authority, please know that you might bounce to another extreme at some point by momentum in the movement from being conformed ~~~~~> to being free. Don't apologize for yourself being too rigid to stand your ground, don't feel ashamed for looking a bit crazy, don't feel scared by your own strong convictions, your suddenly more deeper and powerful voice, more open throat, and more confident actions. This is very natural process, and in your case it is very rightful process of coming back to yourself, it is a life-giving movement of energies in you. 🌈

If someone who was more into themselves all their life and stood strong on their own does not recognize this life-giving process in you and start to shame you or even start to suggest you scale down your voice, speech, and actions, understand that they might feel threatened of loosing control, or they just don't know you, where you are coming from, or they really wish you well and trying to help, they can come from all kinds of places, but only you know what is life-giving for you, even if this looks too much for anyone else outside. 🌈

I use word life-giving because I feel this is the right word to describe the movement to freedom in you. It is very individual and no one outside can know what it should look and feel like, only you, so you get sensitive to that space in you that feels this, get attuned to freedom vs conforming, how it feels, how it affects your psychology, your energy, your spirit, health and so on...You become your own GPS system to navigate this very individual process. I support this in people, just like I support this in myself, it is a tight rope to walk, as anything else in authenticity in the dense social environment, but its a walk to become free <3

Keep your focus, keep to yourself, and keep walking. 😎🙏

What is necessary is conscience

 I know I have been radical with my expression on Facebook and the more time goes by the more I say as is, no pussyfoot around (I got this from my partner :) )

It's too many of us in the spiritual, especially nondual circles that are in denial, clicked into a sheep mode, bamboozled, just like anyone else out there on the streets. You thought you are something special? Nope, the life right now shows very clearly that you just like your next door neighbor who will never know what satsang is. He actually has more chances to survive whats coming, he at least can dig, build, and grow stuff, you spent your years sitting around the stage listening to talks.

I did not know the extent of this bamboozling until probably now. I thought I was talking here to minds that can crack open, can discern, to beings that can stand in autonomy of their own being, but probably most just can't. The neurological groves are set too deep for the neurons not to follow the set direction. These are the times of sorting out of whos mind and nervous system can change and not be enslave by social conditioning of submission, who can walk out from the old paradigm being oblivious and live by default into being fully human who is able to stand in the midth of the storm, see, feel and make their own decisions.

I was a witness of abuse yesterday when a young mother came out with her very little daughter, probably 8y.o, out of the store and the girl pull off her little mask, looking so sweet, like a true little California born angel with blue eyes and white wavy hair. "Pull your mask on", yelled the mother right besides me, she was so laud it hit me right in my heart. I stood there watching how they crossed the street and went into their car and took off. In the masks. I cried today into my partner chest, as I woke up and recalled this. It is not easy for me to see these things. And when people come here and say; there are much more serious atrocities then just wearing a mask, you don't understand that the mask its just a metaphor right now for submission, and it includes for me all the atrocities happening with humans who are naive, asleep, and enslaved by social conditioning. And why would I care so much that I put myself like that here so I alienated so many, even some of my friends?

Why we care? Because our conscience don't let us not to. G.I.Gurdjieff said something that penetrated me long time ago:

"People are very fond of talking about morality. But morality is merely self-suggestion. What is necessary is conscience."

and:

“You must learn not what people round you consider good or bad, but to act in life as your conscience bids you. An untrammeled conscience will always know more than all the books and teachers put together.”

And yet, the bamboozling is so strong that conscience in a modern 'spiritual' man is almost nonexistent. Gurdjieff did talk about it that it is a great gift if a modern man was able to safeguard his conscience through the years of being conditioned to be a sheep of the society. I did not see it so clearly as through the times of this plandemic.

People think I am this hard-core woman that can jump on the horse and charge into the battlefield. I am not really made up for the battlefield, I have very strong feminine qualities, developing masculine qualities as I go by exercising courage to speek my truth and be myself in the middle of the world going in the opposite direction. I have a few people who support this here and on my Youtube channel. I very much appreciate you, guys <3

And if you are bamboozled: look up the latest CDC report that they released very quietly, maybe this will help, I start to doubt that I can be in any way helpful for you.

Sending much love to all, bamboozled and free.

Elena