Tuesday, May 28, 2013

I don't really f-e-e-l it!

Ever looked at sunset and felt that you don’t “really feel it, and you know you supposed to f-e-e-l?

You bought these expensive tickets to a symphony concert, sat and listened to the music, looked at the audience secretly, trying to see who is “really feel it” ?

You went to the museum and looked through many rooms of the paintings or the great masters, and wished that you can just stop by one and “really feel it” ?

Deep down you feel disappointed and somewhat damaged, because you still remember how it was in childhood, when everything was fascinating. You still remember when you “really felt it” when you fell in love, when you did something inspiring, when you went camping in the backcountry, and in the morning you unzipped your tent, peak outside, and was taking by the beauty of the morning fog. You remember that and you want to feel it again. 

This movement in feeling is absolutely true and innocent.  We forgot who we really are, and the beauty of all the Creation. We are locked in the simple structure of been separate little 'me' who is trying to survive in this life, make things happen with much effort, push some projects that we think are essential for our survival. We spend our days mostly in thinking. Feeling, touching, smelling, tasting get unnoticeable. We have so many experiences in one day that our senses become dull and most experiences undigested. 

On a weekend we go to the concert or to see the sunset, and we find ourselves unable to “really feel it”.  We go to see teachers, therapists, read books, try to meditate - all to find the way back to this feeling of fullness. We are constantly trying to be, become something, someone, because the one in this moment do not “really feel it”. 

It's all about simple being. BEING - is simply feel what one feels at the moment, smell what one smells, hear what one hears, see what one sees. Whatever it is - this is your truth at the moment. If you don’t really feel it”, accept it anyway - this is the reality of this moment. If you don’t smell, hear, taste, feel in a way you would love to smell, hear, taste, feel - accept it anyway as your reality at this moment.

Simple noticing that living is not some intense experiences, constant actions, and trying to “really feel it”, but feeling sensations right now, feeling feeling right now, smelling, tasting, hearing right now. Understanding of this will bring the attention to the present moment and satisfaction in the senses. Acceptance and noticing of the simplicity of being, and at the same time magnificence of the experience as it is, will bring peace and delight.

May all beings be happy!