Friday, October 15, 2021

Indulging in security

Indulging in security is contrary to intimacy with God. It gives a temporary feeling of wellbeing, but puts happiness forever out of reach, for it destroys spiritual life and ruins the man who indulges in it by making him waste his time. And when he finally reluctantly comes back to himself, empty-handed, he realizes he never received anything. ~Ibn Arabi

May be a closeup of 1 person

Tuesday, October 12, 2021

Let go

Surrender, let go of sight and reason
and walk the pathless path.
Stay in your own loss without wanting,
without knowing, without desiring anything.
Live like a child without a care in the world,
not even the care to do God's work.
~Madame Guyon: Christian and Spiritual Discourses Concerning Inner Life
May be art

Wednesday, August 11, 2021

How to Let go of Fear of the Virus, and ANY kind of Fear

"If the fear exists, the virus is already in place.
I am not talking about creating a fear, but about consciously feeling what is already here. If you are afraid, the virus is already active. Instead of pretending it doesn't exist, realize that traces of it are always present in your life. Feel that which is here once and for all, instead of unconsciously LETTING IT LINGER IN ALL YOUR ACTIVITIES [...] It means feeling this fear of old age, disease, abandonment, FEELING IT IN THE BODY, no longer doing yoga to assuage the fear, or get married, divorced, have another child or buy a new car just to run away from discomfort - but on a contrary to consciously feel what is here."
~ Eric Baret, "Let the Moon be Free"

My own experience with fear and virus in 2020, a story:

Saturday, July 3, 2021

I really tried!

I tied to shake,

to yell,

to shock,

and to provoke,

to virtually slap,

to dance around 

stepping on the toes.

I really tried!

I cried,

I wept,

I didn't sleep,

I felt, and felt, and felt again

straight in the middle of my chest...

I really tried.

I talked to people in my brain,

I called them back into themselves,

I called them to listen not

to the TV - an idiot box

I really tried!

with love,


Friday, June 11, 2021

Deep Listening

What we are missing is real listening.

Not listening to verbal expression of others,

but listening to our feeling, feeble voice within,

slightest movement of energy.

Listening is an internal process,

deep listening is not done with the ears,

deep seeing is not done with the eyes,

and Knowing is not done with the intellect.

We have a part of humanity

that listens through the ears and eyes,

they call it listening to "science","news",data from CDC

and their own thoughts conditioned by this data.

And we have a part of humanity that gets information

by listening to nonverbal expression of the heart:

"This doesn't feel right".

These two parts of humanity

make different choices right now

that will affect their future,

our future,

the future of humanity.

Our future right now

depends on how many

will truly listen, listen to their own heart.


Friday, June 4, 2021

Most Common Fear

If I would isolate and name the most common fear we share is to appear socially INADEQUATE: just being unable to be and behave in a manner that is socially unacceptable and therefore, not approved, not liked, rejected, and disowned. This is deep tribal fear that we carry from the times when belonging to the tribe was the matter of life and death, it was almost impossible to survive alone.

We do everything to be adequate, everything - from small denials, to sucking up to those who control the community to which we belong. Having no strong principles, vague psychological boundaries from messed up family dynamics only helps to suck up and agree. For ordinary person it is easier to see through this thick, he just needs a crisis, life will re-arrange the brain naturally, and if he happens to meed a mentor at that time, he will start to come out from the delusions and prison of his own mind.
For "very spiritual", especially "awake", and especially if it happens to be "spiritual authorities" people it is monumentally hard and sometimes impossible to get out from the crystalized image of themselves as someone residing in higher consciousness. It's a threat to the whole lifestyle, their identity, their stand in comparison to other "ordinary" people, or "beginners" in spirituality. Do you see this horseshit is not real, its a pure mind creation to prop the image, to prop the "specialness", "not ordinariness". You give these people a real crisis like 2020, and where they are? In fear based living, first in line for experimental substances being shoot into their body, and condemning, disowning, rejecting from the communities those who actually were able to breath through fear, breath through mind's riddles, breath through mind's talks to itself, and stepped out of that all into the truth of their own, into sovereignty, the birthright of human being to think outside the social conditioning.
Most of the "ordinary" people are open now and looking for real spirituality, not concepts. Most of the "highly spiritual" have nothing, but concepts. Wonderful times for life to sort out who is who and where this who is going in 2,5,10 years.
May we all live the best of our lifetime, human life is so precious ❤

Sunday, February 28, 2021

Your Head is the Grundig

1 year ago I wrote this to guide my spiritual friends through the times when the virus was announced in our country. Lost so many through 2020, not to the virus, but indoctrination

We all will die,
better worry about spending
(doesn't matter how many years left here)
being fearful, scared, paranoid, and controlled
in what the thoughts you run
in between your eyebrows and your scalp...
a small space, right?
Like an old Grundig radio that we used in Russia
to catch any other propaganda, besides the Soviet,
your head is the Grundig,
and you can keep switching the channels
until you get to the one with the music.
Maybe listen to a classical concert on Youtube,
and travel with the music cleansing the fearful mind.
That music was created long ago during times of much more unknown diseases that you can imagine.
Create something timeless, create something from the heart,
un-glue yourself from the news, propaganda for masses.
Americans watched too many scary news and trillers
and had too little troubles to live through.
We are sterile and afraid of peeing in the forest,
we would hold till we reach the porta potty,
almost exploding in that plastic blue box.
Use your life force, your precious attention wisely,
and wash your hands.🙏

February 28, 2020

Wednesday, September 9, 2020

Personal TV Saga

I think what helped me in life is that in most of my life I didn't watch TV. We had no TV when I was a child, I don't remember watching it at all, my family was poor, I was born on a unpaved street on the outskirts of a very small town in Ukraine. When me and Anthony were in Budapest, I noticed very similar air, just like in Ukraine, so I looked on the map how far it is from the town I was born, and was surprised that it was not that far, you can drive by car in one day. When I was looking at the map, I did the google zoom into the street and actually found the very house I was born in, I couldn't believe it had the same window shutters and still the same unpaved road!
At about 11 we went to live in East Germany where my parents got TV left from the previously stationed military family in the house, but the programs were in Germain, I did not understand and did not watch it, mostly spent my time in school and with my friends outside.
At 16 we came back to Russia and had to live 2 years in a military dormitories where families had a room to live in and a dormitory kitchen and a common room for everyone. After dinner people would gather around one TV in a common room and watch a movie. I couldn't stand to sit in a packed, hot room smelled with dirty socks of Russian Army officers, so I again, spent my time either with friends or reading.
By 18 my parents finally got their own apartment and eventually bought a TV. By that time I was more interested in guys, dating, and teen groups to hang out, not to sit with my parents and listen their commentaries about events on news. But I would watch sometimes soccer, iceskating main championships, music, fairytales, animal and travel around the world programs.
At 22 I immigrated to USA, didn't speak English to watch TV for long time, immersed myself in caring for my newborn baby, study and into reading because I could use electronic translator with books.
In my 30th we got TV, mostly to watch DVDs through VCR, since I don't remember watching anything else, except couple of seasons of American Idol, Batchelor and Apprentice, have to say it was super interesting 🙂 And that was probably my biggest exposure to the television.
World-wide news came into my life fairly recently, after 40, through computer. But I never developed the need for news or any other programs on TV, and I am so happy about it.
Yesterday we watched the movie "Plandemic". It made a big impression on me mostly just uncovering how deep the conditioning through mass media and Google goes, how it is used as a sophisticated filter for information. When I say to people that I do not really read articles, watch news, not interested in numbers from government agencies, I am not kidding, I don't. I have very short attention span for this type of reading or videos, very rarely when I read something to the end or watch, like yesterday with this video Plandemic. And even it was interesting, I drifted in the middle of it. In all the honestly, my mind doesn't need something in it's entirety, it picks up what it needs very quickly and that's enough information, and I trust this feature.
If you familiar with Human Design, I was surprised to discover that I don't have any 1st lines in my design (I-ching energy lines describing the propensities of the mind). 1st line is about investigation, digging into available information, starting from basics, study from the beginning. Some have this energy very strongly in them, some less stronger, and it will be right for people to dig into information before making conclusions, but I have none of 1st lines. I don't need to study anything starting from basics, I can grasp the essence from any entry point. This was such a revelation for me some years ago, almost a relief of what I already knew and intuitively lived, but always felt inferior to those learned individuals who operate with data and know facts. Especially in Russia we overemphasized higher education and those with degrees wold definitely look down to those without, so most of us got degrees in doesn't matter what, just not to be left behind as stupid. Mine was Metallurgical Engineering, believe it or not!
So why I am so strong on my page about masks and other BS I see? Not because I follow news, numbers, hundreds of articles and videos, no, I have no interest, energy and focus for that. I say what I see and feel in myself, it is very raw and very innocent, and when people come back and say "You don't read information, it is a slippery slope" or "Aha, you don't read, then you can't know what is true" - these are written by people who have no idea how my mind operates, and they see it from their own perspective, having probably highly intellectual, analytical propensities of the mind to get information from the linguistic sources.
I live, observe, feel. Sometimes I do get visions, but I don't trust those, since they can be as conditioned as anything else. Sometimes I read and watch, but this is not my main source of information.
So anyways, I just wanted to say, if you want me to present you facts that prove your facts wrong, this is not my thing. Even if I post some facts sometimes, its mostly for people who need to read or watch to know. Please understand if you want me to debate anything, I am unable. Then you can conclude something like someone very popular in a spiritual scene did: "Aha, if you don't read and watch then you can't know what is true". Do whatever you want, but for me this would point that we are not on the same fractal, you don't need my insight, you will never take from me because your mind need factual information that I don't have, and therefore it is more kinder for us to part.
Have a greatest day today!
Love, Elena