Wednesday, January 30, 2019

What is "waking up" and living this human, and are you ready?

I realized a few years ago all these groups, like religious, social, political, even some environmental, and others, are created by those who run the show on earth to put people in the debates, disagreements, fear, and resentment, so we spend our life-force and be unable to live and walk free, tied up in our energy and focus on the manufactured disagreements. So is all the new age, spiritual and neo advaita are from the same forces to make people either overly focused on perpetual seeking to transcend the ordinary state of mind, or inert and pacified after half-way transcendence. Therefore everyone need to follow someone, without a group we are feeling incomplete and lost what we are doing here. We need someone to show us direction and to tell us what is correct or not. 

Truly awake man does not look for the direction from others, does not need to follow the leader, does not need to affirm his intent by belonging to a group, or affirm his awakeness by concepts. To be truly awake the mind transcendence is not enough.  The vertical journey of the mind expansion must be accompanied by moving on the horizontal plane by maturation, growing as an adult, clearing the mind fixations, opening the heart to see divinity, and love humanness in everyone.  

The inclusive grouping, shunning people, pushing people away who just start to raise their head, who start questioning the direction of the leader, who start to be curious and not blindly following, would be worthy to notice, but we are so blindfolded, unable, and feared to be outcicled, we keep silent and inert. We remain in the middle of the herd, assured we have a warm and comfortable place to stay as we are, protected in our disempowerment.  And this is exactly what forces at play want: that we are either under the illusion of living as a small separate human beings, or we are under the illusion that we are awake, still directed by others, unable to be the true human we are.
We are given a carrot that we follow with all might, something under the idea of “freedom”, and we spend all life following the carrot, wasting our life force and creativity, only to arrive to exhaustion.  Unable to orient ourselves, we fall into following gurus, leaders, teachers, methods, trying to keep ourselves in relative comfort, settling on the imaginary freedom from the previous state of mind, only to be imprisoned by modified state that has nothing to do with real freedom. 

We do feel it at times, the discomfort, but we rather tuck ourselves further into the warm company of the same lost group with just the same lost leader, who just has bigger balls to say they know, or they depend by their livelihood on proclaiming themselves a leader. Did you here the saying: “Blind leading the blind?” Welcome to modern times of humanity, and spirituality as well.  

And so this is all created so we stay either under the illusion of been small disempowered humans, or we stay as separate groups that are in constant debates with each other, like religious groups, political, social, spiritual, and all kinds of congregations. We loose the sight of who we are, we spend energy on perpetual movement that does not go anywhere, it’s a circle that we are running around with an impression we live a purposeful life. This is exactly what they want us to do, spending our time here as a slave to hidden agendas in the Matrix.  

It is more elaborate then any movie can portray.  What gives a chance to glance out of the prison is complete honestly with yourself, and even that might not work, since one simply is not able to have the level of honesty needed, unconsciously been conditioned from the early childhood to be a slave of the thinking mind.  This is a human condition, and the only way out is to wake up to who we truly are as Consciousness itself, and when we have a glance of the fullness of our being, instead of grasping for the leader’s skirt, or holding on to the groups, walk out, and make your own path through rite of passage of maturity as a human being. 

Anyone who did not make their own tracks in the mud, but keep up with tracks of others, are not awake, but hypnotized by their own mind that they are, keeping themselves from real freedom. You will tell me yes it’s true, but this very teacher and his method is correct. I will still tell you leave your false lifeline, leave it behind, and step into unexplored, unfamiliar, scary at first, life outside familiar circle. Then only you will have a chance. This act itself will give you what you need in order to let go of mind fixations, life will support a true warrior, but it’s an outwardly lone journey. 
Are you are ready?

Friday, January 25, 2019

It is never too late to wake up !

Never too late to wake up, my friend!
Close your eyes, sink into the darkness of the absence of the visual input.
Find the moment between the in-breathe and out-breath, 
sink into that pause.  Relax physicality, just let go of the constantly held tensions.

Notice the silence.  It is so deep and nurturing, it is almost calling you in,
constantly, without any demand.
You might open your eyes, without attachment to any images around, 
rest with your eyes open, in the same nurturing silence.

You might notice that sounds happen without your participation.
You might notice that visual field is just there.
You might notice that you are actually more noticing, a witness, 
then the person you are.

See that for you to hear no need to do "hearing”.
For you to see, no need to do "seeing”, for you to feel, no need to do "feeling”.  All your life you thought you need to do, nope, it’s just happening. 
In the sea of hearing, seeing, feeling, there is this noticing, witnessing.

I know, this might sounds like too far fetch to grasp it,
but I do not ask you to understand, or figure out, this does not work this way.  It is more resting the thinking mind, and see what’s there, 
besides its constant tension, chatter, and suggestions.

Gosh, this is the simplest things of all, and this is the hardest at the same time.  Since early age we are conditioned to look at the world 
through the thinking mind, a narrow prism, and it insures we live in the illusion of who we are.  Illusion of a separate me living in the world of separate objects. 

It is never to late to wake up. 
It can happen any time, any moment! 
Why? Because there is nothing needs to be created anew, 
nothing to be added in terms of knowledge, do not look for it in the books.  
The narrow prism through which we perceive the world needs to dissolve.

It is never too late, my friend, to recall who you are besides this body and the brain.  It is never reclaim the fullness of you.  It is never too late to really see who you are, to know.  You just need a burning desire for the truth, thats all you need.  And it is also not your personal choice, not a mundane curiosity of the mind.

Then what it is?  It is a mystery, my friend.  The thirst for truth comes from the depth of the being, it is the longing.  Can you do longing, or it happens by itself?  It does.  At some point in human life this great longing for who we are descends, and there is no way you will dismiss it, until it is fulfilled. 

You might mistaken this longing for wanting better relationships, better job, healthier, stronger body, more connections, more things, more stuff, better stuff.   This happens often when we do not know why we still unhappy, still longing, in spite of all the stuff and the relationships we accumulated.

The nagging feeling, learn to recognize it.  It is calling you to yourself.  It is calling you home.  The home that is always there, you separated from it only by the prism of narrow perception.  Again, sink in, relax, and notice what’s there.

The body tensions, breathing, thoughts - this constant movement that holds attention, let it be.  No need to follow that, let it do what it does, you just be here.  Notice that you are alone, or not, in pain, or not, emotional, or not,
There is an awareness of it.  Of being alone, of pain, or of emotion.

This tiny fact of something being aware of anything thats happening just now is underestimated and devalued by the thinking mind.  To the degree of absolute denial.  And here is, my friend, where you turn the prism, turn the attention there.  What happens next…

Perhaps just nothing.  The thinking mind is too strong to hold the prism in one direction.  Do not despair, do not give up, just practice turning the attention.  Thats all it is, no matter where you are and what you do, just for a moment stop, and turn attention to yourself, the silent witness.

I want to warn you here of the tension.  If you strain your eyes, or jaws, or  body, then this is “doing”, and it is again, is run by thinking mind.  What I am taking is more like a glance rather then looking, it's momentary recognition of what is always here.

You read or listen to me now, what do you do for this?  Absolutely nothing.
In fact, you can’t undo the listening or seeing.  The mind offering suggestions what is happening: “you doing it”, “you are the doer”. 
But can you see that listening does happen before you even say: “I listen”.

This “I” precedes every sentence, it’s a prism.  Everything is happening, and then the “I” comes in and make it solid.  Concrete and separated from the rest. Illusion we live in.  Wake up, my friend, turn the attention to yourself, the being you are, the consciousness, the silent witness.  Just ditch the prism. Remember who you are.

It doesn’t mean at all that you be formless ghost, form happens in this world, 
it’s nature of existence.  The human being you are is like a costume 
for who you are. Unlimited, Unbound, Witnessing Awareness... 

Wednesday, January 16, 2019

Cycles, Weather, Being

Everything in life has a cyclic nature. When I was young, I couldn’t really see it, this realization comes with living life longer. When I was in Gurgieff Way I really admired this strong woman Madame De Salzman, she became a matriarch in the Gurgieff Work after he died. She said once: "It is important to live long". The more I live, more I agree with this. She was saying this in regards to waking up, that long life naturally start to aid the awakening, especially if one is aiming for it.

One of the benefit of living is starting to notice cyclic nature of this reality. Some cycles are short, like our days and nights, or four major periods in a year, where we can see and experience change in nature. Some cycles are much longer, and one needs to live through a few of them to notice the change. What helped me to see the longer cycles in life is Vedic astrology. I have this peculiar mind which curious in any subject matter that might help with understanding how things work in this world, and I studied many of them. I never wanted to become a professional in a particular body of knowledge, any system, but I spent years looking into different modalities, trained in some of them, and still use some of them to get a quick snapshot of the energies present.

My mind is of integrative nature, it reads information from every possible direction, it notices many things simultaneously, most of the time it is a pure insight that I can't explain at first, with time I would see the structure of the insight, the more time passes, the more I would be able to explain. Cycles are one of the phenomenon my mind notices. One of the most known acknowledgment of cycles in life is this old saying: "This too shall pass". I lived the spontaneous change in mindstates so many times while sitting long Vipassana meditations and retreats, this is ingrained in me. The change is inevitable, and it is only the matter of time.

In Vedic astrology there is a teaching about energy cycles through human life, and these big cycles have many levels of smaller cycles. I have been following my own and other's people I guided, and every time it is sort of a miracle to me, I still can't take it as a given, it is so accurate, it blows my mind. I submit to the ancient wisdom of pointing us to cycles in life. I noticed it for so long that I can talk about it to you with confidence: when you are in despair and angst, just know that this will not be forever, this will change. So is the same with bliss, please do not assume that this is who you are and this is how you will live to the rest of this existence.

We are not any of these changes in nature, or in the mind: bliss or depression are not us, its more a weather of being, like a weather in nature. We are the same through any weather, any cycles, difficult or easy. Noticing the change helps not to identify with any particular point of life, just like aging doesn't change who you are. Newborn, young, adult, or old, you are the same being - these are just cycles in a human physical development, aren't they?

I see some of you going through difficult times right now, please do not despair. Please do not get involved with the mind so much so you loose the perspective. If your mind agitated already, remove yourself from mental activities, especially on social media, find a way to be more physical, engage body more, work with the earth, like gardening, or even take a physical job for a while. I did it myself when I took a job of a dishwasher in Esalen. Don't be afraid to loose a status or an image, it is only for a while, and you will gain a different perspective in life.

If you feel lethargic and dull in the mind, do not fill it in with random information on the internet, engage in the activities that balance body energies, so the brain is nourished and fueled better. Some movements like walking in the forest, on the beach, doing tai chi or yoga, will harmonize and refresh gently without overstimulation and burn out cycles.

If you are in bliss, share it. Share freely through the heart and mind, hug as many humans as possible, dance with them, celebrate yourself and everyone who comes by. Spread bliss onto the world, include others in it. The most important is do not get high on your own amaze-ball-ness as it is a permanent state of being, stay in a humble wonder.

Just simply be you through any weather, and help others see that in themselves as well 💓