It takes time to completely re-wire the brain from the disempowered, being lost to yourself, conditioned into victimhood mind state. The most what is in the way is SHAME. Shame is so ingrained, it is the main reason why it takes time. You need time to let go of shame, and it is not easy! It's invaded the mind so deep. And also look around, the reality outside always matches the mind, it's like a mirror: you will see people around you who are keeping you in this mind state of shame, they will be ready to put you in your place, talking to you from the above, patronizing, and all other variations from extreme to the covertly hidden control to keep you where you are. Here is the trick of getting free.
You need to put others to rest, just deal with you and the oppression of the shame in your own mind, because when you clear that, the outside will clear itself too. And let me add here, "putting others to rest" doesn't mean to approve or disapprove them, it doesn't mean forgive or not, it doesn't mean anything, it only means that you withdraw your attention completely from them. As they do not exist (here where nondual view actually helps practically, if you ever was in a state of oneness you know how true this is on a existential level).
You withdraw your attention and put it all back HOME, within your own being. If you feel bitter, look at the feeling itself, not the "others" that make you feel bitter. Own your own project in your own head.
It's not a one day task, and you have to be willing to walk through your own inadequacies and fears, but you will be walking to freedom. One day you can say and do exactly what you want to say and do and you will have people around you who will support you in your journey home: to autonomy, love and respect for yourself.
Link to the book, picture gallery, reviews and endorsements:
https://www.elenanezhinsky.com/buddha-on-a-bull
