Wednesday, March 25, 2020

On Fear of Survival, personal experince

I learnt a great deal about fear of survival through immigration while I was also 8 month pregnant with 1 suitcase for both of us: me and my ex-husband, both 23y.o. We arrived to USA with no money, not speaking English, in the middle of heat wave in July 1992 in NYC. I had to walk very pregnant long distances in the city, very thirsty, looking at people casually drinking Coca Cola. I had no money to even take additional trip by subway, or to buy a drink. We found the carriage for our newborn son on a street on garbage day. The next three years were horrifically difficult. My ex-husband don't even remember it, his system got shut off from the overload, mine carried me through, but I came out as a victim. Surely we did not survive together and parted.

20+ years later I experienced a second wave of great raw fear of survival when everything happened at once: my mind exploded in Awakening, my house burnt down, husband was gone, job, friends, health - all gone. All at the same time. If you think I don't know what fear is and just write articles on awakening and cheer up others to wake up because it's a thing to do ... p l e a s e....I do it because I know the extent of suffering! I also know what it means to live awake and be Conscious...and it doesn't mean constant "ebb and flow", but, boy it really helps to live human here! Do I experience fear? Sure, sometimes I do, but it does not cover my sight, it does not make me collapse and panic, it makes me suddenly focus and get really clever. Do I need to sell you any other benefits of becoming Conscious?

My story of awakening is in Buddha on a Bull book (On Amazon), but most importantly, the second part of the book will guide your mind to become CONSCIOUS, or at least it will help to expand it from it's current limitation to a state of a possibility of genuine awakening 🙏 And the fear? 👹
You will have a special relationship with it, a friendly one

P.S. I had to close comments section on my blog, I was attacked by spammers, and after deleting 200+ of spam comments I decided to not even have comments section at this time. But please comment on Facebook, or send email. I will re-open comment section at some point in a future. E.