How beautiful fear is!

How beautiful fear is!  

In one split second the body contracts 

without having received any mentoring how to do it,

is that right?

Suddenly you become acutely aware

of the body boundaries,

as a second ago you mostly were in the head.

Spontaneous return to Here!

Fear ignites the heart, and it runs faster,

almost like a sports car drive that takes your breath away 

when you are on a winding road.

Nothing else matters.

Your ears hear the slightest sounds

and your eyes become like a night vision device.

You feel through the skin with

heightened senses.

Let go of an idea of fear 

being something we need to get rid of.

It's a nature's mechanism

for survival.

Surely fear come not only

when danger is physically here.

It also comes when we perceive danger

mentally.

It is a story of a danger in the head, not the real danger.  

But the brain reacts to real or imaginary danger

by releasing signals to the organism to survive,

just in the same way.

It sends signals of warning through the whole system,

and the body contracts, senses heightened, heart races.

Stop and look around you, seriously, look.

You have to show the body that there is no danger around.

Literally.

If you find yourself in fear suddenly,

or you are having panic attack, turn your head,

let the body see that around is no danger.

It's all fine.

Let eyes see the world around you. Inhale.

Point the mind see the world, not imagine. Exhale.

There is no reason for fear in this very moment,

the body can soften.

A softened, relaxed body will accommodate calming.

Suddenly the attention is not just in the head, 

and not in the body solely, it has expanded, 

it allows more space for the fear 

to just be an energy.

Fear, that given a space, is beautiful.

Raw feeling of intensity rushing through the physicality,

like a palpable intensity in the air before the storm.

So powerful!

Can you see how much energy is in this feeling?

Don't you feel alive without any reasons? Just as here, now, 

breathing space, magnificent Being-ness you are, 

never a  victim!

Adult rite of passage

If you are not limited to one particular role, you can play anything. Remember how it was when you played with your buddies in a sandbox? You did not come to sandbox every day to play an excavator, you played an excavator if your friend played that he is digging a tunnel and need help, and you both liked to play. The next day you played a builder, because you were with the other kids who were building a castle. Then you played a prince or princess who lived in this castle, everyone were playing someone, so you joined too, why not? Then you all played the soldiers in a war and destroyed the castle. And when you got enough, you just left. As adults we get squeezed in one costume, or couple, and we just keep playing this particular role we are playing. Doesn't matter we like it or not, we do not know it is a role, we think it is us, and we must be it. Our environment supports this role by now, and no one really wants you to change it, everyone has their own benefit from you wearing it. The closest people to you will oppose the most if you try to change, because it will require them to change as well, you will threaten their safety ground. It is a rite of passage to change and transform, wake up and live from your own truth in the middle of established structured adult life. Honour your courage to return to more life, joy and spontaneity in you by not being squeezed into an old role, and also be patient that others might not support you wholeheartedly, just because they are not ready for these changes in themselves yet.

Remember?

This is written to some of us 

who tend to overlook changes,

for those who focus on half empty glass,

instead of seeing it as half full.

Remember you used to blame others

when something went wrong?

Remember, later on you used to blame yourself

when something went wrong?

Remember you used to be angry on others,

then later you used to be angry on yourself?

Remember you used to be disappointed

you were angry and you blamed?

Remember it took you long time

to calm down, or forget?

Remember the time when it shortened tenfolds

to release the blame and anger?

Remember you placed so much expectations

on yourself how you should be?

Remember you tried to follow

expectations of others how to be?

Remember with time you just stopped caring

how to be, or behave, or what to say?

Remember how heavy was a load

of trying to be something specific?

Ask yourself these very questions,

and more.

You will see that you are not the same anymore, 

and not the same person neither.

Maybe you cary the same name and the body,

but mind completely changed.

Would you agree that mind is not an enemy anymore,

But a solid navigation system that works?

The vehicle is still moving, mind talking,

and you kick back , drinking kombucha!

On a wrong turn you do not blame,

you just make a u-turn.

If someone cut you off,  you do not get angry, 

"He probably is in a hurry",  you think.

If body breaks down, you do not get frustrated,

you take care of it,  maybe give it a break.

If navigation system short circuit,

you don't make assumption you are stupid.

If it happens that navigation gives you the old route,

you take it without disappointment in yourself.

Do you notice that mind's navigation get's more and more clear

and your actions are more responsive and immediate?

Do you notice that there are less and less stories,

but more simple being, here, and available?

The journey is sometimes dramatic shifts,

and sometimes is fine tuning.

Please notice that there is more space 

to be just as you are, this certain character.

You have permission to be unique personality

without trying to be someone else.

Surely, the blame, and anger, and frustration,

will fall away, because no need for it!

Please do not hurry up for anything,  it all comes

in it's own right timing.

To my fellow traveler friend!

I completely re-done my blog Complete Humanity.
When I started this blog I worked with people with the process called direct pointing guidance to selflessness, and my earlier posts mostly are documented conversations with people in this alchemical process. There is nothing intellectual in those conversations, they aim to shut down linear thinking mind and open the inquirer to presence of being. I was led by the fire energy that came out from my own awakening and desire to help others. This is how Bodichitta (Wikipedia) spontaneously awakened in me to "my own" liberation and liberation of "others" with deep realisation of the illusion of separateness.  

If you ever come across the foul language in my older posts, please don't be surprised, I used it as a shocking agent. This is how fire energy was channeled as a skilful means. I do not do it anymore, I softened through the years of maturation and integration of awakening. I write mostly about inner alchemies of sinking deeper into humanness with awake perspective. My writings are not linear, not sequential, not even consistent, because they come from me when I touched by people's inquiries, or my own. I offer an exploration of authentic living, I am not shy from any vulnerabilities that arise by walking this path. You are welcome to walk alongside me for any period of time. This blog can be more appreciated on a computer, rather then mobil version, but I tried to make both clean readable and beautiful. Computer version has 2 columns that display the recent writings, most popular writings of this year, and the most popular writings for the year 2017. It also has an archive of all the writings since 2011, which is sort of amazing, I never thought I will produce so much material when I began!

Thank you for being my fellow traveler friend!

The Gate

How many years you are walking toward the gate of awakening?
You know, it doesn’t really matter! One year, or five, or twenty.
You thought the more you walk, the closer you are,

whether in reality, you are spinning the wheels.
You can walk out from the labyrinth in no time,
and it also can take ages of walking 

around and around.

Once I made a collage from the images I cut out from magazines,
and I placed the image of myself on an image of a labyrinth,
where in the center of it was my book - the one that I am writing now.
For couple of years of that collage on my wall
I was doing everything possible: from being a guide, a teacher,

to being a dishwasher, a cook, a lover, a traveler - I did everything else, 

but not writing a book!

One day I looked at that image and I recognised myself
walking around that labyrinth for years,
what a sudden revelation from a silly cut out images!
It is also true for a spiritual seeker who goes around and around
with a false sense of progression, until they see their helplessness.
Then it is a real possibility to get out. You walk through the gate,
and you  B E G I N  to live it.

Her Voice

She spoke to me softly in the recorded message, 

I could hear the music of her presence in my room.
I tuned in to my own presence with precision 

that is not always available.

She was telling me how helpful was my letter 

I wrote her a day before at night,
how she felt cared, understood 

and seen in her inquiry.

Her voice was like a sound of the brook on a backyard of my old house
I could listen to it for hours, sitting still,

hypnotised by the rhythm and melody,
and most importantly, this subtle vibration of love.

Her message was only couple of minutes, but
I was taken on a journey of the heart unexpectedly
when my whole being suddenly trembled, 

and I wept uncontrollably.

I noticed how her words were landing on the invisible shield
that appeared right before the word could dive into my heart.
The shield was constructing itself in a matter of split second and 

was becoming a catching net for lovingkindness and gratitude.

Her voice, full of respect, appreciation and warmth
was bouncing off this invisible resistance line
where the heart contracts just enough not to allow 

love to enter.

The love that is so natural, innocent and true
was held at the door with a sign: “No trespassing”.
But with the heart’s yearning for truth and authenticity

the body ripped webs of resistance with a spontaneous cry.
 
I am back to listening.
As suddenly as this storm started, it had passed.
I sit in softness of my own being, in complete acceptance.  

I just re-discovered again that listening without resistance is love.

As thinking mind is able to give up holding the fort, and 

as it opens all the unexplored, unavailable, untouched, un-nurtured spaces, 

her voice and her recognition softly asks me to be available
for lovemaking to my own heart.

Honesty, friends, is everything in this journey

To my fellow traveler:

Yes, it is not easy. Not easy at all ! Sometimes life flows like a sweet river through a wide valley, promoting an atmosphere of peace and serenity.
Sometimes it is like a mountain stream that runs through the boulders and rocks and falls down with all the intensity.
Isn't it so?

When you wake up, you are by default in a powerful mountain steam. Being Awake and a human as a social being is not necessarily an easy life. Please immediately start to look into the old fixations that mind holds. Otherwise you find yourself in the gushing waters, face down !
Here you need to be brutally honest with yourself, the sort of honesty when you are in your bed, under the blanket,
and no one watching. In that space you are alone, you don't need to pretend to be anything but what you've got.

It is possible to see clearly what mind tries to still hold on to, and here you have a chance! You can look straight into the eyes of the old belief, and this will start the de-conditioning process, and release this limitation. Even recognizing, noticing hidden belief is already enough, more then that, it is so powerful that it is immediately change the course of life.

Every moment life starts anew, and it is a powerful beginning for life to start from seeing the limitation, rather then habitually hold on. And this is how the greatest changes happen - they start from honesty with yourself, maybe in your room at night, under the covers, you will face your greatest fears and discover the lightness of being!!