Sunday, January 12, 2020

Financial stigmas and much more

I didn't want to write about it, but why not, I have been open for long time already about everything, so financials are not off limit here.  We just used to talk about finances within our family, but OMG not in a spiritual community! I still have not processed fully money stigma, it is much better now then before, but still I notice how I contract around this sometimes when I ponder on setting the price for my service.  You know, I used to work with people for years, free, and not a little bit here and there, but almost full time.  As crazy as this sound to some people, for me it was just fine.  Until it didn't.  I realized one day that I am not young anymore, and I don't have my own house, we rent a small place on the outskirts of the town, because it is cheeper.  I found myself in mid-life changing everything, and loosing most, I just couldn't proceed with the same dynamic. So I did change.  Not overnight, but with time.  Very slow, feeling my way into it.  I experimented a lot with sessions times, and fees, and my energy.  

What it takes for me to meet with someone for about 2.5-3 hours that the process I created required?  It has to be an equal exchange of energy, otherwise this won't work in a long run.  I saw that I can't really do many short meetings, I rather focus fully with one person for long time and we will have a full picture of their life and out of it we will have a lot of information that we will play with and come up at the end with a very clear view on what is there direction here in life and how to walk it in a correct way.  I called it Deep Dive Discovery Process and it is still my favorite, but very intense work.  After a while I had to raise the fees to make myself committed to this process.  

Another session almost as long, based on a Human Design, also takes a lot from me, I work on so many different levels, visible and invisible, that sometimes I have to go and stand or lay down on the earth after the session to ground myself (even more after Deep Dive Discovery).  I only can do one session like that a day and not even every day, and if it happens and I do it every day (like this week I had four sessions), I am actually looking forward to next week when I have only one.  I have times when I have no work at all. I am not busy, I don't want to be busy, my ideal to have 2 sessions a week every week - this is far from busy in any sense of having a coaching practice! But this is ideal for me, not money-vise, of cause it is not, but health-vise.  I don't have drive and energy, but I have a strong desire to help people to live their authentic self, so I found a middle ground.  

Sometimes it helps me to relax when I remember reading on the page of a very known non-duality teacher when he announced that he has a few spots for his skype consultations, 45 min 500$.  Someone asked why so expensive, he said: "Because I worth is."  I understand that many of us experiment with business, our values, we are like underage in this area, those of us who were in spiritual circles for too long.  So I don't judge him, it actually gave me some reference point that as long as I don't go to these extremes, I am ok.  Just because that felt extreme and not ok for me.  I don't feel worthy 500$ for a short skype, or it simply doesn't feel correct in my case.  For 500$ I offer two meetings of total time of 5+ hours and plus email support for a month...

Well, I am experimenting with that if I can sustain that myself, because if I focus on someone, I focus fully, it is as real as it gets, they are in me.  I sometimes have dreams and sometimes my clients have dreams where something is shown or resolved.  This is not 45 min skype for 500$, I am taking this client into my consciousness for the time we are working together and beyond. I stay with people through until they are out of the deepest hole of painful disillusionment. I have many people who can testify by this.

And yet still I am shy to even talk about my services.  I used to be humiliated that I have guts to charge for my consultations, just because everyone expected me to work for free as for many years when I participated in creation of the grassroots spiritual organization.  I have no organization for long time already, I also left non-duality, because I came back to practicality of living life as a human here, and I saw that the most people in denial is in non-duality, so I left after having full blown non-dual awakening and came back to the simple question: "How to live comfortable in your own skin?" right here, right now.  Without bs denials and spiritual materialism.  I found a way: to come back to humanness and fully explore authenticity.  This is what I am doing right now with people who come to me after long life of spiritual seeking, they want to finally feel good just as they are, very human. 

Recently my friend, a shaman, Anna Belenky, she is very gifted with her craft, and especially accurate in timing, said it will take time for me to establish my practice, 1.5-2 years. So I am not in a hurry here, I am building a foundation for what I will be doing to the rest of my life.  She also said I will create something new, a new system, which is high probability knowing myself well by this time, I always have new ideas and insights, never boring here :) 

My partner works very hard for us to have a place from where I can do my work.  He is also creating something new right now, and I help with that, we will see where this will take us.  This is what's going on here. 

And if you want to start the year with absolutely new outlook on yourself and the life you lived and living now and see more clearly where you are going and what you are here to be, if you want to start the new decade with radical deep de-conditioning of old dynamics so you won’t repeat them going forward, then we might work together.  

At this time I only work with long-term spiritual seekers, they are my passion, and I was the one too, so we speak the same language. I see myself in a future working with different categories of people, but not now. 

I work with those who have read my book “Buddha on a Bull: Practical Approach to Enlightenment” (
Buddha on a Bull on Amazon Link), just for them to know me better to have a trust that at least I “served the time”.  I work with those who are tired from feeling doubts about themselves, who are ready to uncover their unique face, their authentic essence.

Just as I published this post, someone sent me this testimonial:

Elena's Deep Dive Session was the best and most amazing coaching session I have ever received. This was pure, real and true. She helped me to find the essence of what I truly am.Such a relief to know and feel that.I highly can recommend her session to everyone looking for answers and clarity. You will get that. I also had another talk with her about my Human Design. Again very helpful and good practical tips. She is a true and authentic gift and her work is worth every penny!

and then she added:
And I tell you something:
after your Deep Dive session I thought, my god she could charge double for this kind of session!Love, Caroline  

What a great timing, Caroline, thank you for your letter!
I invite anyone who is curious to look into the detailed description of my services on my website and decide for yourself: