Hi, Elena. This is Karina. Here is my story:
When I woke up that day, I felt extremely overwhelmed by problems in life. My mind was really confused, I didn't know if there was a purpose to be alive because I was surrounded by suffering and pain.
I was having a chat with my boyfriend, who got liberated about 7 months ago, and it sucked to have that conversation one more time.
At that time, sweet as always, he was patiently trying to explain about this, and I was challenging him and throwing rocks at him, ten minutes later in the conversation I said "ok Sorry, I am just trying to understand the mechanism of non existence....I may need to research more about that. He gave your blog to read and calmly said "ok I'm going to walk the dog. Talk to you soon :)"
I was having a chat with my boyfriend, who got liberated about 7 months ago, and it sucked to have that conversation one more time.
At that time, sweet as always, he was patiently trying to explain about this, and I was challenging him and throwing rocks at him, ten minutes later in the conversation I said "ok Sorry, I am just trying to understand the mechanism of non existence....I may need to research more about that. He gave your blog to read and calmly said "ok I'm going to walk the dog. Talk to you soon :)"
When i read this my brain started burning:
" You are too good to yourself. Become angry that you can't fucking get it. can't get it when people around get it. why? because you are holding back. you holding something back.
ask yourself where I am holding back? what I am holding back? ask with all the sincerity. ask with desperation, fucking cry
then shut up"
My brain almost explode when I read to it...It took me 20 min to realize that is all fck NOTHING"
The confusion went away. All what I thought was existence, no longer was. All the lies, un-reality, future thinking - all was wiped off. I looked and I saw nothing. I thought it would be something really confusing, hard to understand, but no...Everything was clear - no confusion, no delusion, illusion, all I saw was nothing. An empty space in my brain was opened.
Now thoughts, feeling and fears come and go thru my body and I don't pay attention unless they are true.
Life has been shown as a really beautiful thing. I am able to live and enjoy the present moment as the last minute of my life. There is no future until it happens. I love every single minute of now.
Karina, thanks!
Please answer this:
What is "I" ?
Please answer this:
What is "I" ?
Karina:
“I”? There is no me or “I”.
Elena: So what is "I" that people use all the time?
Karina:
“I” is simply a way people use to identify someone, but it does not mean that there is self.
Elena: So what is there?
Karina:
hehe, There is nothing in there, just life happening and it feels so good!. :)
Elena: Is there you in any shape or form in the reality?
Karina:
No, there is no me.
Elena: And I not only happy for you, Karina. I am frikin excited, girl! Wow. That was amazing. Mark is the best boyfriend in the world!
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